30 Days of Yes - Silence is Loud

Yesterday was day 5 of 30 Days of Yes. www.yes30.com.  It promised to be the most challenging of the days so far and it was. I was instructed to put at least 15 minutes aside for just pure listening. It sounds easy and rather enjoyable. Another opportunity for a "working" nap, perhaps. A guilt-free nap since it was an assignment.

I have mediated and prayed many times in my life but I don't think I have tried to just "listen" without generating thoughts through my head. When I pray and mediate I mostly express gratitude and then I visualize a good life and retrace the good life I have had. What I discovered when going for absolute silence was that silence can be rather loud.

First, I just tried to listen to nature. What I heard was my neighbors upstairs walking and they never stopped walking. That thought lead to the inner question "when you live in an apartment how far can you actually walk?" After I really didn't answer that question in my head I tried to get back to silence. I heard a lot of white noise, which either means my head is empty or very busy. Then I heard myself talking to myself saying things like, "don't talk, I have to listen." I decided to do some deep breathing and all I heard was my deep breathing followed with daydreaming and not "listening."

Although this was just one activity in 30 Days of Yes I am going to do this every day so I get good at it, just like I will express gratitude every day, focus on truly forgiving everyday, kick it up a notch on my physical activity everyday and diligently work on overcoming obstacles keeping me from my passion and purpose everyday.

Today's assignment has to do with soaking up nature. That was easy to do in Hawaii and should be good for today given that the weather is perfect here in the Midwest. I'm glad it's not tomorrow's activity because it's supposed to be 90 plus and humid here. Not sure if AC is considered nature.

30 Days of Yes - Let's Get Physical

The photo in today's blog is not just another goofy mug (head) shot of me. It's a photo to sort of prove I did what I said I did today for today's activity. It's day 4 of 30 Days of Yes and if you just started reading the blog for the first time, no worries, my blog is not like having to keep up with LOST. The blogs are easy to go back and read or if you'd rather just jump right in that's easy too.

My activity today was to do something physical, like working out, hiking, biking, or running. Whatever you want to do. But the challenge was to do something you don't ordinarily do. Since I workout almost daily, the physical part would be simple but the figuring what to do different would be more difficult. What did I choose? Swimming. Okay, that's not really that big of a deal. I grew up in California, lived most of my adult life in Hawaii. I've done a lot of swimming. But how many of you can relate to forcing yourself to submerge your body into cold water. How many of you just plain give up on jumping into a cold pool or ocean?  I'm raising my hand. We have an indoor pool where I live. The outdoor pool isn't open yet so the indoor pool was a nice respite from Winter time blues earlier this year. Then the heater broke. It is so cold that even my youngest son, who often begs me to go swimming, did an about face after dipping his toes in the water a couple of weekends ago. It was that memory that helped me decide this would be a good physical challenge. The picture of me is to prove in the best way I could without risking ruining my camera phone taking a picture of myself while swimming, that I did get my hair wet.

I started off the morning thinking back on the previous activities of identifying my passions, gratitude and forgiveness. Then I did a little work, setting up some story interviews for the educational channel I freelance for, and then I went to the gym to do my regular, daily physical activity before going for the challenging swim. I should add that I did push myself harder in my regular workout this morning by sprinting more in the spirit of today's activity. 

Again, the challenging part was not the swim because I can do a decent 20 laps. It was the jumping in part that had me thinking about just going home.

On the way to the pool it didn't help to hear on the radio the story of Washington National's pitcher Stephen Strasburg who accidentally applied Icy Hot ointment to his private parts before the game. Needless to say it made for a very uncomfortable and painful evening on the mound. So, was that the feeling I was in for when submerging the lower half of my body into an icy pool? Do I really have to do this? I worked out already, I did something physical. I will just write about that. No, I had to do this. I got to the pool, took off my shoes and shirt and slowly lowered myself into to a pool that was even colder than I remembered. There was a woman, only separated by glass, on a treadmill with a perfect view of me either swimming or wimping out. It's like when you realize you are walking the wrong way and you don't want to turn back around in the opposite direction because people will wonder why you are doing a pirouette in the middle of the sidewalk. I could not turn around or that one witness would think how silly (or creepy) it was to see a grown man take off his shirt to bathe his toes in an indoor pool for just a couple of minutes. I slowly took the challenge. I got in waste deep, lost my breath and nearly my heart. After a few minutes I jumped the rest of the way in. It was still cold but it got better. I did about ten laps and called it a workout. In the end it felt good. It didn't feel good because it was exercise, it felt good because I did something I was hesitant about and after doing it I realized that it was a better feeling to actually do it than the feeling I had about not wanting to do it. So what did I learn from today's activity? Just jump in. Jumping in the pool this morning was like jumping into life. There are a lot of things we don't do because we either don't want to out of laziness or don't do because we have fear or doubt about it. Nike says "Just Do It!" I say "Just Jump In!"

Tomorrow's 30 Days of Yes is kind of a big deal.    

30 Days of Yes - Forgiveness

Today on 30 Days of Yes it's all about forgiveness. http://www.yes30.com/

This activity definitely takes some deep thinking. It didn't take long for me to figure who I think I need to forgive because to my knowledge not that many people have hurt me during my 47 years.

But let's get back to yesterday's activity - Gratitude. After I sent my snail mail letter I spent some time with my youngest son on a beautiful afternoon here in St. Louis and then went to catch up on some more LOST episodes with my girlfriend and her son. I am very grateful for how my day went. I love ending my day with scenes from Hawaii. I am grateful I got to live there for such a long time.

I am also grateful for receiving e-mails from an old news colleague who works for a large aircraft manufacturing company on the West Coast and a new LinkedIn friend who works for that same company in St. Louis. Even though I said I started on this "30 Days of Yes" as an approach to stop "looking" for jobs and start following my passion and purpose I did apply online for a St. Louis communications job with that aircraft company. Remember I said I would stop "looking" for jobs but if a good opportunity comes up through this process I will definitely go for it.  I am grateful because these two guys took time out of their busy schedule to give me some tips and encouragement in regards to the open job.

Forgiveness - the act of it is not really as hard as it seems. It's the "do you really feel in your heart that you have forgiven and moved on" is what's hard. I used to look at forgiveness as letting someone know that it's okay what they did. Now I see forgiveness as not letting whatever happened hold you back. The person I have decided to forgive did not do any physical harm to me or scream and yell at me for something but the decision this person made has had an impact on my life for a couple of years. I have handled that person's decision with grace and still have kind conversations with this person. I do not see this person very often anymore so the chances of interaction are rare. But I haven't really forgiven this person in the sense that I have moved on. Hopefully today I will finally move on. I have started by understanding that this person made a decision (about me) and felt that this was a right decision. I don't believe this person had any animosity or anger toward me - he/she was just making a decision that he/she thought would be best. Of course I didn't agree with the decision and still don't agree with the decision and still don't understand why the decision was made. But the decision was made and I need to move on and when I move on I bet I will find that the decision this person made ends up being a good decision for my well-being too.

Yesterday, when picking up a Subway sandwich in my neighborhood the lady next to me ordered some macadamia nut cookies. Naturally, I sparked up a conversation about living in Hawaii for a long time. She told me how much she loved her last vacation there but unfortunately it was right before she found out she had stage 4 cancer so she hasn't been able to travel since. Well, you would never know that this woman was suffering from cancer. She was probably in her 60's, looked healthy and was expressing so much gratitude - and forgiveness. She then told me how she and her husband recently had $50,000 of sentimental jewelry stolen from their home. The thief was caught and she told me she has forgiven the woman and is now worried that it will be hard for her to testify against her. I told her that she can forgive and tell the truth at the same time. What a wonderful experience to meet this woman who is going through a much worse situation than I am yet she expressed gratitude and forgiveness with such grace. I'm wondering if she was sent to me on purpose to help me with my back to back activities of Gratitude and Forgiveness.

What I learned from today's activity is to do my best to genuinely forgive and move forward. The hard part will be making sure that my forgiveness toward this person is genuinely everlasting and that I don't dwell on what could have been if the decision was not made. I used to think that I would be ready to forgive when I get a new job but what I think I really need to do is forgive in order to get my next job. It's time to move on.

30 Days of Yes - Day 2 (Gratitude)

Today, I sent the snail mail letter of gratitude.

On Friday, I had the privilege of conducting media training sessions for soldiers based at Ft. Leonard Wood, MO. Living in Hawaii and being a news person most of my professional career and being the son of a Korean War Vet I had sort of an understanding of military sacrifices - but not really since I was too young for Vietnam and too old for both Iraqi and Afghanistan Wars. Most of the soldiers I had trained on Friday had been deployed at least once to either the Iraqi or Afghanistan theater if not both. The men and women were great and positive despite what they have witnessed and risked. I am truly grateful for those who defend the way we get to live on a daily basis. Whether politically we agree or not about war in general or specific operations, these young people are still out there unselfishly protecting the way are accustomed to living and the way we want to live. I am also grateful for being hired to do this job and have this experience.

On Mother's Day, my 8th/9th grade girls basketball club team had a game scheduled right smack in the middle of the day. At first I wasn't grateful for that for two reason, 1. I would not have enough players because they would be with mom as they should be. 2. I kind of wanted to have a mother's day brunch too. But it turned out to be an experience to be extremely grateful for. We only had three players so I asked the league director if we could borrow players from another team. He talked with the coach of probably the best team in the league who had two games that day and she agreed to give us five players. That means her girls were going to play 3 games in one day. These girls were great and we actually won our first game. It wasn't the win that was so rewarding it was the meshing of two different teams expressing two different sides of gratitude. The girls on my team were so grateful to play with and learn from such sweet and talented girls. The girls we borrowed from the best team in the league were so grateful to see the joy in my girls and to be able to help and play without the pressure of winning (since this game didn't count for them). Yes, winning can make one feel better but the joy began from the opening tipoff, when we weren't winning. That was for at least the first 8 minutes. It was the joy and gratitude that got them the victory. The joy and gratitude lead them to playing hard, playing smart and overall just having a fun time.

My weekend also included seeing the St. Louis Symphony do the greatest hits of Led Zeppelin (It was awesome!), a walk through Laumeier Sculpture Park for an incredible art fair (Yes, I went to an art fair and really enjoyed the talent of these artists) and making a Mother's Day spaghetti dinner for my girlfriend and her son (I don't think my spaghetti was as good as the artwork and Led Zeppelin music).

There is so much to be grateful for in my life. I didn't need Mother's Day to remind me how great my mother raised me and how loving she is. I have experienced so many neat things in my life from family, children and friends, to travel, food and entertainment, to safe homes and beautiful communities I have lived in, to some of the most rewarding and creative jobs anyone can have.  Television, marketing, and NCAA basketball coaching? Now that's fun.



Back to the snail mail gratitude letter I sent as my activity on Day 2 of 30 Days of Yes. http://www.yes30.com/

It will be interesting to see the response and I hope to report on that in a couple of days - depending how quickly the snail moves from the post office to the mail box. Btw, I'm grateful for the U.S. Postal Service too. I'm always amazed how you just pay 40 cents or so, drop it off in a big pile of other mail and then it gets to the exact place (most of the time) in just a couple of days (most of the time). If someone gave you 40 cents to deliver a letter I bet you wouldn't do it. I do have a confession to make about dropping off something in a US Mail Box. When I was a kid I once put a half finished milkshake in one. What was I thinking? One, I probably ruined all of the mail and two, I love milkshakes. What a waste. If you ever got a milkshake-stained letter from Belvedere, CA back in the 70's that was from me and hopefully you will forgive me because tomorrow's activity in 30 Days of Yes is about forgiveness.

The letter I sent today, is going to someone who I probably said "thank you" to many times and hopefully I have demonstrated my gratitude many times but this person deserves a handwritten surprise.  What I learned about today's activity is not to take any relationship for granted, whether it be someone at work, a family member, your best friend or your significant other. I also determined that I spend wasted time dwelling on what I think I do for others and disappointment if I don't get the same gratitude, acknowledgement and respect in return. It's a response/feeling I need to change. It's not that I give specifically to get something in return, because I get a lot of joy out of giving, but I will get discouraged if my generosity goes unnoticed. If we all expressed genuine gratitude on a regular basis toward each other I believe there would be much less conflict in relationships. I guess there are two positive ways you can approach this. 1. give unconditionally and continue to express gratitude without expectations. 2. If you feel like your generosity is being taken advantage of and not appreciated then spend that generosity somewhere else. At least that way you are still giving with joy.

In addition to my 30 Days of Yes activity, because that's only 15-30 minutes, I did workout this morning, applied for a job at Boeing and worked on a story I am putting together for HEC TV. I need to give more time and attention though to praying or meditating - that's all part of getting the answers and inspiration to pursue your passion and determine your purpose. The struggle I have, which I have mentioned, and I'm hoping I will conquer in the next 30 days, is feeling like I don't have time to pray or think because I have too much to do. Besides, I really feel guilty when prayer time turns into nap time.

See you all tomorrow when I talk about forgiving. I've got a good one and it's about forgiving someone for a recent action and I know I'm still caught up in what happened. Tomorrow could be another attitude changer for me.

Okay off to nap now, I mean pray. Seriously, I'm not tired. I'm motivated.

30 Days of Yes - Day 1 (The Letter)

Previously on LOST in St. Louis? - I Haven't Had a Full-Time Job in a Year and My New Passion and Purpose is to Stop "Looking" for Jobs:

I briefly described how I got to St. Louis from Hawaii and a little bit about myself and my journey as a father, grandfather, broadcast TV producer, marketing executive, and college basketball coach who is starting to focus on finding my passion as opposed to "looking" aimlessly for a job. I came to this realization after applying for nearly 200 jobs in a year. Then I happened to have a "catch up" meeting with a friend of mine, Travis Thomas, who is a "purpose coach" and has launched "30 Days of Yes." http://www.yes30.com/

It was supposed to be a meeting where, in the end, I would give him some marketing advice but instead I was so intrigued by his program that the meeting evolved into "what he can do for me."

I have always been a very positive person but there's no doubt I have often felt that bigger things were meant for other people and it was my job to help others become bigger. I still love doing that but I believe that if I become bigger I can be a much bigger help in helping others become bigger. It's like putting on your oxygen mask first before your children. I used to think that was so wrong when the flight attendants would instruct you to do that "in case of an emergency." I thought, "why would you not save your young children first?" Well duh, if you don't take care of yourself first then you won't be able to take care of your children at all. It's not a selfish thing, it's an important thing, a practical and smart thing. I'm ready to be great so I can help others be great. We all can be great. The Great Card isn't just handed out to a few. Actually the Great Card isn't handed out to anyone. It's our job to go find the Great Card and that's where I'm heading to - to pick up my Great Card.

The other thing that seems to hold me back is fear of not succeeding. Believe me, I have taken some personal risks, career risks (not many people go from marketing to coaching college basketball and opening up your own business is not for everyone), and life risks (nothing that would kill me though). I know though, when I take those risks, I have take them in trepidation and not with complete confidence.

From here on out I am ready to learn what "Yes" really means for me and how "Yes" is not just a polite response to agree with someone or to agree to do something but a proactive action of confidence, conviction, and most of all - passion.

And according to "30 Days of Yes" yes is:


YES is abundance. There is no room for limited thinking.
YES is empowerment. I will not allow myself to be a victim.
YES is selfless. It is not about what I can “get” – but rather, asking the question, what can I give?”
YES is about having more, as we discover we need less.
YES is always a CHOICE – your choice!


Day 1 of 30 Days of  Yes: 


Here's the introduction from the 30 Days of Yes e-book. I told you Travis has a pretty good sense of humor too.


Who should NOT sign-up for 30 Days of YES?
30 Days of YES is not for everyone.
Specifically, if you have life all figured out – DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If living your best potential is not important to you - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If the words purpose, passion, and happiness do not resonate with you - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If you have a desire to control things - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If staying in your safe comfort zone is where you want to be - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If you are not open to personal transformation - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If you take “F U” out of “fun - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
For everyone else – it’s going to be an awesome ride!

I will get a new activity everyday. We are advised not to look ahead except after we complete the assignment. We are allowed to look at the next activity for preparation purposes. The assignments are not lengthy. I have been told some will push us out of our comfort zone but none will be physically uncomfortable. For example, I asked if I would have to get on an actual roller coaster since I don't like roller coasters. Travis said, no. Thank God because I have never been on one (except for Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean - don't laugh. I know that doesn't count as one.) Believe it or not I have done national PR for Theme Park highlighting the latest thrill rides. Some how I was able to successfully work on the account without getting on one.



Day 1 Activity: Back to the Future…


Write a letter to yourself that you will open and read again in 31 days! In the letter, detail all of the reasons you decided to embark on this 30 Days of YES journey.
o Why did you decide to say YES?
o What obstacles are showing up in your life?
o What goals are you thinking about right now?
o What one or two things in your life would you like to improve upon?
o Are you truly happy?

In my letter I answered the above questions as directed:

• I decided to say "Yes" because I know I need to make some changes about how I mentally approach my life but more specifically because I need to start following my passion and not just simply "follow" the daily job search rigor.
• Obstacles: Not gaining the abundance and full comfort of living. I figure if I can have the same outlook about wealth as I do for my daily health I would be extremely wealthy. I never doubt my health for a second and I am so blessed to not have any ailments. I don't want to ever have any doubt about my finances either.
• Goals: I want to be able to continue to excel in the areas of marketing, broadcast, and coaching so I can help others put on their oxygen mask and realize their dreams. I'm not a big believer in handouts but I am a big believer in assisting and encouraging others with their passion and ideas. I would love to be in a big office someday having meetings where I say "yes" to people's ideas by financing them and advising them. That's where I see myself.
• What can I improve upon?: As I mentioned earlier, I want to improve upon my "can do" attitude for myself. I am always resolution oriented when it comes to my work, bosses and clients, but I need to be resolution oriented when it comes to my aspirations. When I become successful I guarantee I can many more become successful. I need to take risks with success in mind and not possible failure in mind. 
• Am I truly happy? I really am! I love my family and friends. I am so grateful to be healthy and be able hit the gym everyday and even play some full-court basketball. I love all the things I have experienced and still experience from travel, to food, to special events. I am very happy with my social life! I absolutely love live. But I am very stressed out about the finances and that often bogs me down and slows down my progress. After years of living in the most expensive place in the country and often holding down 2-3 jobs to pay the rent/mortgage and send my kids to pre-school (a long time ago) and then finding myself in a job transition time for the past year in a down economy is pretty stressful. I'm not feeling sorry for myself because I know many others are in the same boat and many others are in boats with bigger holes than my boat facing bigger waves than I'm facing but for me, it weighs on me pretty heavily.  After I work through this I will be truly, truly happy.

I told you we are allowed to look at the next day's activity. So hear it is: We get to write a letter of gratitude to someone in our life. We get to write  it old fashioned style. No Facebook post, e-mail, word processor (that would be computer for you young folks) or text - this is a letter that the post office will deliver written on paper with ink or pencil.

I have so much to be grateful for and so many people I am grateful to so I could write thousands of letters but remember these activities are not supposed to be lengthy.  I have already chosen who the letter is going to but won't reveal that yet as the letter still needs to be delivered and today's Sunday so it's not going anywhere today. 

In addition to the letter though and in the spirit of Mother's Day, I am extremely grateful for my mom. She's is a great mom and continues to be to this day. I have learned so much from her. I know I am an awesome father because of what I learned from her and my father.

Happy Mother's Day Mom.

Flashback: LOST in St. Louis?

I Haven't Had a Full-time Job for a Year and My New Passion and Purpose in Life is to Stop "Looking" for Jobs

Yesterday, as I started a blog series about the above, I told you I would reveal to you what passion and purpose I have decided to follow. Well, I have been recently watching LOST on Netflix (when I'm not looking for jobs) and it got me thinking what is so gripping about that show. If you knew how the show was going to end you probably wouldn't be so glued to it. So, I decided rather than tell you how I hope my story ends I would take you on the daily journey and we will find out together how it ends. I will give you a hint though. My passion and purpose will not take me to a Third World Nation to join the Peace Corp or to a travelling circus, at least not now. Most of you know that I have been a TV producer and marketing/PR professional for most of my working life, picking up three Emmy Awards on the way, being a managing partner of my own firm and even coaching college basketball. With that in mind, I can hint to you that my purpose and passion is something creative and something involving working with and helping people realize their purpose and passion. I promise. there will be some flash forwards outlining my passion but let's start with a flashback. 

When we lived in Hawaii we started watching LOST as a family to support a network TV show being shot in our backyard. We found it to be pretty compelling. I happen to think it is the best written and produced show ever on TV. I did not realize how great the show was though until just a couple of weeks ago. When we moved to St. Louis and I started my new job, a whole new career of coaching college basketball, I stopped watching LOST. That was about the middle of Season 2. With a show like that you can't just jump right back in or you will be lost for real.  A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend started watching LOST on Netflix with her son and invited me to join them on this nightly adventure. I was excited to see the recognizable scenery of Hawaii again and to once again catch the beginning of Season 1 Episode 22 (Kate's Flashback). If you don't blink you will get a glimpse of this blogger (me), two of his children and his minivan. Although I'm not an actor I did have to act because those suitcases I'm carrying in the scene were empty and I had to walk and have a look on my face like they were heavy or the director promised to fill the baggage with bowling balls. 

I had forgotten how great this show was. I am hooked again. It's easier to follow too when watching night after night as opposed to waiting for a week and each year a hiatus waiting for the next season.

MY FLASHBACK

As I mentioned in my blog yesterday, earlier this week I decided to take a new approach on searching for full-time employment after almost a year of filling out nearly 200 job applications with no results. I do not regret one moment of this process. I just think that I haven't gone about it in the best way so that's why my new purpose and passion is to stop"looking" for jobs. I still want and need a job but I have to stop looking for them and start looking for my passion and what I have decided my purpose is. I do not regret or feel the past year has been a waste because I have also gained so much: What I have gained is: new friends and business contacts who have been helpful and encouraging, taking time out of their busy schedules to guide me. I have gained a sharper looking resume  and have gotten pretty good at writing cover letters and investigating companies and finding people I know somehow connected with these companies. I have gained a whole new respect for valuing challenging and rewarding employment. I have gained family time. Although, I kept myself busy searching and applying I didn't have a boss' schedule to keep so I was able to attend many of my children's activities and spend 24/7 with them during winter, spring and summer breaks. I have gained gratitude for what I already have and stopped focusing on what I don't have. That can be hard when you are concerned on a daily basis about where the next paycheck will come from to pay the bills that were due last month. I have gained focus and confidence in what I am best at and what I enjoy doing most.

Okay, here's really where the flashback begins. I was born in Marin County, just north of San Francisco. Marin is one of the wealthiest counties in the nation so it's easy to grow up thinking life will be plentiful without having to work for it. For me it has nothing to do with being spoiled. It has more to do that life was comfortable and I was a kid so I didn't think about working.  I'm not going to get too much into my childhood but I can tell you it was great. My parents are great parents. I grew up with a fun older brother and three fun younger sisters. Two of them came into our lives when I was already just about in college so that sort of gave me the experience of knowing what it would be like to be a father. I grew up in an awesome neighborhood where you never worried about bullies or crime. I pretty much played basketball every day after school and on the weekends on a schoolyard court with my friends. My grandparents on my mom's side lived in the city so we saw them often. In addition to my own father, my grandfather was a mentor. He was sort of famous in San Francisco because he was general manager of the ABC station in the Bay Area in the 60's and part of the 70's and back then when you were GM of a TV station that was a huge deal because TV was still pretty new.  I won't even begin to list who he knew but I do remember Willie Mays once coming to our house.

I preferred reading the newspaper over reading books so that's probably where my interest for journalism began. And, my grandfather had a cool life working in television. Everywhere he went people said hi to him. I thought that would be a fun way to live.

When I got out of college I moved to Boston to work for World Monitor Television. I learned from a lot of people with network news experience. But Hawaii was always calling me. We vacationed there often during my junior high and high school years. I even lived there during my kindergarten year. Shortly after getting married I went over on a vacation. While there I interviewed for a job to produce a local newscast. Two weeks later I got the "yes" call and they moved us out there.

Hawaii is not an easy place to live because of the high cost of living but every weekend we got to go to Hawaii without getting on a plane. We lived there for 17 years. We became friends with a lot of great people and all four of our kids were born there. I got very involved in their school as a PTA president so I was able to spend a lot of time with them and help out their school.  I worked for two TV stations and about three marketing companies and eventually became a managing partner of my own firm before leaving the Islands almost four years ago. That's when I got the "call" or found a great opportunity to be the men's head basketball coach at my alma mater, Principia College, on the bluffs of Elsah, Il overlooking the Mississippi River. It was  certainly going to be a change and it certainly turned out to be a turning point in my life.

The coaching was fun. I loved it. I had a lot to learn but I had a lot to give too. I'm not really an x's and o's guy (although I did install an excellent offense) so I focused more on motivating these young student athletes to grow into responsible and respectful young men. After all, this was Division III basketball and I felt it was more important for them to have tools for life rather than tools for basketball.  I helped guide the program to its best finish in six seasons in what turned out to be my third and final season. Much to my surprise, even to this day, my contract was not renewed but I was able to leave that program in better shape than I found it. What was even more to my surprise was how hard it was going to be to find another job. I had been unemployed once but it lasted only a month and the unemployment notice in that situation was a mutual decision. Plus, I was in Hawaii where I knew hundreds of employers and had a stellar reputation. Now, I'm LOST in St. Louis where all I know are college professors and students at my own institution and colleagues in the coaching world. And one more thing, unemployment was at the highest level ever since I have been a working person. In the past, when I applied for work I had these elements in my favor, economy was good, I always knew the person who was doing the hiring, I always got face-to-face interviews and the only time I was asked for my resume was after I got the job just so they could keep it in their HR files.

During my three plus years in St. Louis some other things changed too. I got a divorce and I became grandfather. I have a very supportive girlfriend  and my kids are awesome. I just adore them. They range in age from 20 to 6, two boys, two girls. I would write more about them but in the spirit of maintaining their privacy I will stop here.

Finally, (I hate using that word as an announcement for a conclusion but I love hearing it or seeing it when I'm on the receiving end of a long speech or long article), let's talk briefly about what I'm going to change about my job "search" and the journey I hope you will enjoy reading about.

As I told you in yesterday's blog (the first of this series so if you just started reading today you don't have much to catch up on and you won't have to wait for my story to come out on Netflix), for the past week I have been thinking more about my passion than my job search mostly out of frustration. For years I have been told, "follow your passion." "You can do whatever you want." And for years I have believed it but I guess for years I have felt I didn't have the time or the guts to determine my passion and purpose and follow my passion and purpose. Well 200 job applications later in less than a year I finally decided to take the plunge, figure out what I'm truly most passionate about and go for it. And what I'm passionate about is really not too far of a stretch from the path I have already followed.

Yesterday, I went and met with a good friend of mine who is funny, creative, and has been what we call a "purpose" coach on the side. I actually went to meet with him to talk story, catch up and help him since he just announced leaving his job. I remember he had started this program called 30 Days of Yes. I knew a little bit about it but not much so I asked him to tell me about it. I was really there to give him some marketing advice and job hunting advice - hoping that I could help him do in a week what has taken me a year by giving him some shortcut advice.  After hearing about 30 Days of Yes I said I want to do this. I said I have read books, Tony Robbins, Depak Chopra, etc. listened to advice but I have never had a coach lead me through something like this on a daily basis.  In the end, the only advice I gave him was he didn't need my help in finding a job because he had already figured out his passion and purpose.

Tomorrow, I will tell you the story of Day 1 of 30 Days of Yes!

   

I Haven't Had a Full-time Job for a Year and My New Passion and Purpose in Life is to Stop "Looking" for Jobs

I have been officially unemployed for nearly a year, other than few marketing and video projects here and there. I have officially applied for nearly 200 jobs. You read that correctly - 200 jobs.

So, as you can see, while unemployed, I have been working pretty hard. In fact, I find it more stressful not having a job than having one and I've worked in some pretty stressful businesses - live television production, marketing, and college basketball coaching.

But today, I realized I have been approaching this job hunt thing all wrong. Believe me, I have been working very hard at doing it wrong, taking thorough steps to revise and revise my resumes (I have three - one for coaching, one for marketing, one for broadcasting) and customizing my cover letters for each job description and researching the hell out of each company. I have spent hours reaching out to everyone I know from college to previous jobs to LinkedIn and Facebook looking for anyone connected to every job I applied for. Keeping myself busy by applying for sometimes as many as five jobs in a day has certainly made me feel productive and guilt-free. At the end of each day I could say, "I made progress today." But did I? I certainly have learned through this process but not sure if I really made progress if my goal is to have a full-time job.

Well, today it finally hit me, a day after I found out as summer nears here in the very hot Midwest, that it will cost nearly $1,000 to fix the AC in my car and now I will have to go to job interviews drenched in sweat. I started to sort of feel sorry for myself. Wow, no job, no AC? But then I chuckled at the fact that at least "my" parts are working. And that made me think how grateful I am to be healthy, educated, passionate about my family, relationships and friends and still energized and enthusiastic about finding gainful employment.

What finally hit me today? What I have come to now realize and hope to help many others in my situation, whether you are unemployed, unhappy, or unsatisfied, is that it's not about your JOB, it's about your PURPOSE, your PASSION. No this isn't something new. I didn't just invent this. In fact, I have heard this message throughout my entire life and I have even believed in it myself but I was never patient enough, until now, to follow my passion and set my purpose. I was so caught up in not having enough time to focus on my passion because I have too much work to do. I used to think that you saved passion for retirement. Well, that would be a waste of life on Earth.

I know what I want to do and I know what I am passionate about and I know I can make a living by following my passion and finding my purpose. You purpose can be whatever you want it to be as long as you are passionate about it.

Over the next 30 days I'm going to stop worrying about constantly looking for jobs to apply for (believe me I've done enough of that and I know I don't need more practice at that) and I'm going to challenge myself to start acting on my passion and purpose.

Over the next 30 days and beyond, I'm going to start saying "YES" to my purpose and passion. "YES" means if this is what I want to do, then "YES" I can do it.

In my next blog I will sort of outline my passion and my chosen purpose and then take you along on my journey to employment, happiness and satisfaction. Notice I got rid of the "uns" and "nos" and I'm saying hello to "YES."