Okay, so on my last blog the picture of me in Patterson, NY was sideways. I tried many times to make the photo right side up and it just wouldn't do it. Maybe it's remaining sideways because that just how I'm feeling - a bit sideways. Not like wine-drinking sideways but more like being balanced.
My kids are with me for the first half of summer so I am trying to balance "enjoying the now" with them (giving them a summer to remember) and my act of finding full-time work while working on some TV news stories for HEC TV. Speaking of that let me give a little plug for HEC TV and a shameless one for me. Currently, there's a piece I did about a Writers Week at Hazelwood West High School here in St. Louis. I actually went to do a story on best-selling author Ridley Pearson (I'm still doing that one too) and when I followed him to this extraordinary event I ended up finding a second story now airing on a show called "Behind the Minds." http://www.hectv.org/programs/series/behind-the-minds/1654/may-2012/?xrs=email#play926
I just finished up a story about a former St. Louis weather meteorologist who has come up with a formula to forecast pollen movement so allergy sufferers can better prepare themselves for those heavy pollen days. St. Louis is one of the toughest places in the nation for those affected by allergies. That story will air in a couple of weeks on a show called "Innovations."www.hectv.org
Today, I'm trying to bang out a script about the St. Louis Sports Commission. The story focuses on how they bring in big dollar events to St. Louis, like the NCAA basketball Sweet 16/Elite 8 rounds. My story will focus on their sportsmanship brigade. The Commission's sportsmanship foundation goes around to youth games recognizing good sportsmanship and citing poor sportsmanship.
It's pretty stressful looking for work 24/7 and entertaining the kids 24/7. The 30 Days of Yes activities have helped me have a sense of calm though. As I mentioned before for those who don't know me, I'm pretty mellow to begin with but my insides to acknowledge the pressure. I'm really working on the whole idea of "living in the now." Coincidentally, someone bought "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and gave it to me upon my return from my trip out East. This person did not know that I was beginning to focus on "living in the now." Yesterday, a well-connected executive placement consultant took time to meet with me. I mentioned how I am really trying to balance kid time with job search time at the moment. I am realizing that if I get off the computer and focus on my children I'm not going to miss out on a job listing. That job posting will still be there when I get back to my laptop. I'm not saying that I don't take this process seriously. Believe me, I put my best foot forward when researching a job and applying for it. I just don't want to regret lost time with my family because I spent time spitting out a bunch of job applications when my time would be better spent being a fun father.
As I am now half way through 30 Days of Yes activities these three questions are being asked of me. www.30yes.com
1. What has been your biggest challenge thus far?
a. Trust. Trust that if I continue to do this I will see results. Remember, since I have started this I have not received a job offer or a windfall of money, or a call to forgive the debts. So, it can be easy to think "this isn't working." But... to be answered in the questions below.
2) What have you been most inspired by?
a. I'm inspired by the beauty of life (even here in St. Louis). The opportunity to be with great people, be loved and supported, the experiences I have had throughout life including jobs and vacations.
3) What are you most grateful for from the first two weeks?
a. here's the rest on the "but.... sentence I began above in answer to question # 1. Although my biggest struggle is "trusting" these activities will work while remaining patient through the process, I have learned to soak up the good I have received and all the good that is going on right "now."
The idea of 30 Days of Yes activities is not to have a specific result (so I believe) but to live your life to it's fullest by enjoying, open and positive. With that attitude you will be inspired, work joyously for what you need and want and then the opportunities will come.
David Patterson - Marketing, TV broadcast, and some fun and serious stuff that just happens in life!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
30 Days of Yes - The Trip Didn't Trip Me
It's events like this that can be an easy excuse to give up on something like 30 Days of Yes activities or exercising or dieting. I definitely changed my diet as I ate across the Eastern two thirds of the nation and I curtailed my exercising a bit but I didn't crap out on 30 Days of Yes. You know why? Two reasons: 30 Days of Yes doesn't have to be 30 consecutive days (at least that's what I told myself). This is the very reason why people do give up on goals or dieting and exercising. We think just because we skipped a couple of days we failed and we must quit until the feeling hits again to try some new way of making life better. The other reason why I didn't stop with 30 Days of Yes activities is because part of what I have learned in these activities is to live in the now. So instead of stressing about not writing a daily blog or following a daily activity I chose to take what I have already learned from the activities and apply them to the drive to Boston and back.
By doing this I had one of the most pleasant road trips ever. Our countryside is beautiful. I may not have soaked that in as much before. I would have focused more on getting to the next destination as soon as possible.
The trip was with my girlfriend who was attending her 25th reunion at the University of Connecticut. After the reunion weekend we ventured up to Boston. A place where we both lived separate lives at one point in our lives. I lived in Boston for the beginning of adulthood. She lived in Boston at the beginning of her life.
She planned out an excellent trip with restaurant stops along the way she found through Food Network suggestions. We ate a a cool diner in Indy and an awesome deli in Columbus, OH and the best Italian restaurant in Pittsburgh and perhaps anywhere. We found that gem through a friend of mine I used to work with in TV news in Honolulu. I remembered he grew up in Steel town so I asked for a suggestion. He suggested a place called Girasole's. It just so happened his family owns and runs the restaurant. We stayed there for 3 hours because the food was excellent and the owner, my friend's father, was so entertaining. We also ate the greatest ice cream ever made fresh on the campus of UConn and we visited the country's oldest brewery, located in the tiny town of Pottsville, PA.
We had thought about just flying directly to the reunion but then our story would be different. Today's blog would have been about the long line at check-in, paying $100 plus in add-on fees, another long line at security, smooshed on an airplane, a delayed flight, lost luggage, another long line at the rental car counter and traffic getting out of the airport. Instead my vacation story is about seeing the beautiful country side or our country, seeing small towns that you didn't think existed, meeting the most interesting people and eating at restaurants you never would have found in an airport. I must add, we did not eat at one fast food rest stop restaurant along the way. But I will admit we sneaked in a box of Devil Dogs for the car ride. We also played the game of "spotting" state license plates. Through that game we learned a tidbit about each state and the District of Columbia. We also learned how goofy I can be like when my girlfriend was talking with her sister about Hostess products and describing a Twinkie. Just as she finished talking about her affinity for Twinkies when she was a child I chimed in by asking "and what about those yellow cakes Hostess makes? what were they again?" From here on out we call dumb and forgetful moments "twinkie" moments. We took a lot of photos and instead of saying "cheese" we said "twinkie." So if you see more pictures of us laughing than smiling that's why.
My most favorite day of the trip was taking my girlfriend and her sister around to their old neighborhood and schools and watch them giggle with memories. Watching them helped me relive some of my own memories.
Despite having a great itinerary with places to eat and things to see we were also quite flexible. We both decided it was more important to see people than things. So when we had an opportunity to catch up with an old friend over sightseeing we opted for catching up with old friends.
On the way back, we saw a sign for Patterson, NY. Even though it was not on our itinerary we got off the interstate and drove 7 miles off the path to take pictures of Patterson signs. We ended up staying for lunch and having one of the best pizza's I've ever had and tasting the purest tap water while meeting an old school Italian man at a place called Rocco's.
On this trip, I did my best to live in the now and not worry about what was not getting accomplished or where I needed to be next.
The activities of 30 Days of Yes are now just becoming a part of how I live my life. Be grateful and live in the now for every moment.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
30 Days of Yes - So What If The Light Hasn't Turned Green Yet
I don't know about you but every time I push the elevator button rapidly and repeatedly the elevator arrives immediately. Every time I push the crosswalk button in the same manner the light turns green immediately. Really? No. That never happens. But why do we do it? I know we all do this. I have witnessed it several times and I catch myself doing this too.
I always crack up at the driver who speeds past me and weaves in and out of traffic to get to wherever he's going faster than me. Then, moments later we are both sitting at the same red light side by side. So now he's right back where he started from, still next to me. The difference is, he wasted more gas by punching the accelerator to pass me, risked getting into an accident, and his blood pressure is probably a lot higher than mine because he's in a hurry and upset that he's still right next to me. I know how that guy feels. I've done the same.
Thinking about the ridiculous action of excessively pushing crosswalk and elevator buttons or speeding ahead of someone to end up simultaneously stuck at the same red light made me think about how we have come to expect positive results - immediately. I think that's why most of us give up when trying something new whether it's a diet, exercise or a new year's resolution. As I have been plugging away at the 30 Days of Yes activities, with the idea that this would bring positive changes to my life, I have to remind myself that the end results I am hoping to get will not necessarily happen immediately or even at the end of 30 days. I'm guessing the folks who do PX 90 workouts don't stop after 90 days and keep that new body without exercising again. It's a continuous process and the most important thing is being patient and reflecting on what you are learning about yourself.
You may not notice the grass growing if you keep staring at it but it is growing. Would you give up nurturing the growth of your plants (or even your children) because you didn't notice any growth after standing over it for an hour? If you gave up for that silly reason the grass would certainly die.
As I previously blogged about, I am now at the about the halfway point of 30 Days of Yes and that's when it gets frustrating. The very beginning of anything (just like romantic relationships or new jobs) is always so great because there's so much excitement for what's to come. Then you start to get to the point where it becomes actual work and you don't notice significant results. The results are there (the grass really is growing) but "we" may not "see" the results.
Instead of giving up on yet another "great thing" that isn't working as fast as I would like it to work, I decided to take out my magnifying glass to see the growth in the grass of my current journey. Guess what? I actually saw the grass growing. Yes, the bills are still mounting, the job offers are still out in space and not in my e-mail box yet or phone messages. No, I haven't inherited any money. But, what I have gained is a much calmer sense about how things really are working for the better. Through the activities, I truly am starting to experience and soak in the "now" and not dwell on the past or worry about the future. Just so you know, this isn't some free love or selfish thinking, "do what I please" approach. I still have a conscience and I know I always will. I'm still acting very responsively and taking all the necessary actions to take care of finding that full-time income producing job and doing what's right to pay the bills as best as I can. The difference is, I'm not stressing over the fact that the light hasn't changed and I'm not already on the other side yet missing out on what's apparently a better life. I am learning to enjoy the experience on this side of the street while waiting for the light to change in my favor and not give up just because the light isn't changing as quickly as I demand. If you give up you won't be crossing the street at all. If you aren't patient and you consume your thoughts with dissatisfaction for still being on this side of the street then you have lost the present.
I will give you an example of how 30 Days of Yes thinking helped me the other day as I prepared for a meeting. The old me would come up with a long list of obstacles and impossibilities as to why this opportunity won't have positive results or won't be right for me. I should back up for a second though. I am a very positive person when it comes to helping others and doing work that is assigned to me. I'm result-oriented. In general, I am a very positive person. But, what I have come to grips about myself, as I go through the 30 Day activities, is that I find reasons why I can't do or accomplish something personal -- something "I" want to do. Now back to the meeting. Right before the meeting, I reflected on what "yes" means. Again, "yes" in 30 Days of Yes doesn't mean, "yes" I will try everything (no roller coaster rides for me please or bungee jumping), or "yes" I will do whatever you say. "Yes" means allowing yourself to see that whatever you want to do is possible. It means thinking about why you are able to accomplish something.
As I prepared for my meeting, I listed all the reasons why this opportunity would be a positive move for me and all the reasons why this opportunity would be positive for the person I was meeting with me. With that approach, it turned out to be one of the best and most relaxing meetings I have had in a while. I felt confident. I communicated my thoughts in this meeting in an organized fashion and most of all I am not worried about the outcome.
For now, I will enjoy this side of the road while I wait for the light to turn green. I am learning to stop stressing about what's in my rear view mirror, what I'm missing out on across the street, and take advantage of, and be grateful for what's on the path beneath my feet right now.
I may just find, when the light turns green, I won't even need or want to cross the road after all because the good I am looking for may actually already be on this side of the road.
Patience + Passion + Perseverance = Positive results
I always crack up at the driver who speeds past me and weaves in and out of traffic to get to wherever he's going faster than me. Then, moments later we are both sitting at the same red light side by side. So now he's right back where he started from, still next to me. The difference is, he wasted more gas by punching the accelerator to pass me, risked getting into an accident, and his blood pressure is probably a lot higher than mine because he's in a hurry and upset that he's still right next to me. I know how that guy feels. I've done the same.
Thinking about the ridiculous action of excessively pushing crosswalk and elevator buttons or speeding ahead of someone to end up simultaneously stuck at the same red light made me think about how we have come to expect positive results - immediately. I think that's why most of us give up when trying something new whether it's a diet, exercise or a new year's resolution. As I have been plugging away at the 30 Days of Yes activities, with the idea that this would bring positive changes to my life, I have to remind myself that the end results I am hoping to get will not necessarily happen immediately or even at the end of 30 days. I'm guessing the folks who do PX 90 workouts don't stop after 90 days and keep that new body without exercising again. It's a continuous process and the most important thing is being patient and reflecting on what you are learning about yourself.
You may not notice the grass growing if you keep staring at it but it is growing. Would you give up nurturing the growth of your plants (or even your children) because you didn't notice any growth after standing over it for an hour? If you gave up for that silly reason the grass would certainly die.
As I previously blogged about, I am now at the about the halfway point of 30 Days of Yes and that's when it gets frustrating. The very beginning of anything (just like romantic relationships or new jobs) is always so great because there's so much excitement for what's to come. Then you start to get to the point where it becomes actual work and you don't notice significant results. The results are there (the grass really is growing) but "we" may not "see" the results.
Instead of giving up on yet another "great thing" that isn't working as fast as I would like it to work, I decided to take out my magnifying glass to see the growth in the grass of my current journey. Guess what? I actually saw the grass growing. Yes, the bills are still mounting, the job offers are still out in space and not in my e-mail box yet or phone messages. No, I haven't inherited any money. But, what I have gained is a much calmer sense about how things really are working for the better. Through the activities, I truly am starting to experience and soak in the "now" and not dwell on the past or worry about the future. Just so you know, this isn't some free love or selfish thinking, "do what I please" approach. I still have a conscience and I know I always will. I'm still acting very responsively and taking all the necessary actions to take care of finding that full-time income producing job and doing what's right to pay the bills as best as I can. The difference is, I'm not stressing over the fact that the light hasn't changed and I'm not already on the other side yet missing out on what's apparently a better life. I am learning to enjoy the experience on this side of the street while waiting for the light to change in my favor and not give up just because the light isn't changing as quickly as I demand. If you give up you won't be crossing the street at all. If you aren't patient and you consume your thoughts with dissatisfaction for still being on this side of the street then you have lost the present.
I will give you an example of how 30 Days of Yes thinking helped me the other day as I prepared for a meeting. The old me would come up with a long list of obstacles and impossibilities as to why this opportunity won't have positive results or won't be right for me. I should back up for a second though. I am a very positive person when it comes to helping others and doing work that is assigned to me. I'm result-oriented. In general, I am a very positive person. But, what I have come to grips about myself, as I go through the 30 Day activities, is that I find reasons why I can't do or accomplish something personal -- something "I" want to do. Now back to the meeting. Right before the meeting, I reflected on what "yes" means. Again, "yes" in 30 Days of Yes doesn't mean, "yes" I will try everything (no roller coaster rides for me please or bungee jumping), or "yes" I will do whatever you say. "Yes" means allowing yourself to see that whatever you want to do is possible. It means thinking about why you are able to accomplish something.
As I prepared for my meeting, I listed all the reasons why this opportunity would be a positive move for me and all the reasons why this opportunity would be positive for the person I was meeting with me. With that approach, it turned out to be one of the best and most relaxing meetings I have had in a while. I felt confident. I communicated my thoughts in this meeting in an organized fashion and most of all I am not worried about the outcome.
For now, I will enjoy this side of the road while I wait for the light to turn green. I am learning to stop stressing about what's in my rear view mirror, what I'm missing out on across the street, and take advantage of, and be grateful for what's on the path beneath my feet right now.
I may just find, when the light turns green, I won't even need or want to cross the road after all because the good I am looking for may actually already be on this side of the road.
Patience + Passion + Perseverance = Positive results
Friday, May 25, 2012
30 Days of Yes - Is 30 Days of Yes Some Sort of "Your Life Will Be Perfect in 30 Days" Scam?
I'm now almost half way through this 30 Days of Yes challenge. It's supposed to help me make my life better. So far, I have not been forgiven my debts, I have not received an unexpected windfall, and I have not been offered the mother of all jobs. Is this a scam? I quit!
No, I'm not going to quit. There's no promise that if you do all the activities in 30 days your life will make a complete turnaround. That's not what this is about. The way I'm feeling is what I'm supposed to feel. At least that's the way I feel about this and that's why I'm not giving up.
The beginning of anything is always the toughest. Doctors will tell you that you will probably feel the most pain right before the healing process begins. Fitness trainers will tell you that you will feel pain in the beginning of your new workout regiment. Mostly everything we do that has a tinge of challenge in it will have some sort of discomfort at the start.
As I go through these activities I am beginning to see that it's all about what we experience and learn from the activities itself as opposed to "doing" the activity. The activity makes us think. For instance, I am learning to identify what keeps me from expressing gratitude, being one with nature, listening in silence, forgiving, following my passion and desired purpose, or what inspires me to express gratitude, be one with nature, listen in silence, forgive and follow my passion and desired purpose.
I'm starting to figure out what "Yes" truly means. "Yes" doesn't mean, I will do anything, or "yes sir, yes mam." To me, "Yes" is looking at all the reasons why you can do what you want to do or you are driven to do instead of coming up with reasons why we can't accomplish something or overcome an obstacle.
How many of us don't do something for the simple reason of outlining the reasons why we can't accomplish that goal or dream? I'm raising my hand. We often decide our fate before we even begin. Most people who achieve their goals and realize their dreams say "yes" to the challenge and "no" to the obstacles.
No, I'm not going to quit. There's no promise that if you do all the activities in 30 days your life will make a complete turnaround. That's not what this is about. The way I'm feeling is what I'm supposed to feel. At least that's the way I feel about this and that's why I'm not giving up.
The beginning of anything is always the toughest. Doctors will tell you that you will probably feel the most pain right before the healing process begins. Fitness trainers will tell you that you will feel pain in the beginning of your new workout regiment. Mostly everything we do that has a tinge of challenge in it will have some sort of discomfort at the start.
As I go through these activities I am beginning to see that it's all about what we experience and learn from the activities itself as opposed to "doing" the activity. The activity makes us think. For instance, I am learning to identify what keeps me from expressing gratitude, being one with nature, listening in silence, forgiving, following my passion and desired purpose, or what inspires me to express gratitude, be one with nature, listen in silence, forgive and follow my passion and desired purpose.
I'm starting to figure out what "Yes" truly means. "Yes" doesn't mean, I will do anything, or "yes sir, yes mam." To me, "Yes" is looking at all the reasons why you can do what you want to do or you are driven to do instead of coming up with reasons why we can't accomplish something or overcome an obstacle.
How many of us don't do something for the simple reason of outlining the reasons why we can't accomplish that goal or dream? I'm raising my hand. We often decide our fate before we even begin. Most people who achieve their goals and realize their dreams say "yes" to the challenge and "no" to the obstacles.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
30 Days of Yes - If I Wasn't Afraid I Would Dribble Down the Lane
Captains Blog - Day 9. I know that was kind of corny but I caught a snippet of a Trekkie documentary on TV today so it made me think of Star Trek. I'm sure bloggers across the world have already overused "Captains Blog." Now I'm one of them and the temptation is out of my system.
Day 9 of 30 Days of Yes asked me this question: How would my life be different if I wasn't afraid of anything?
My first thought was, I would dribble behind my back, through my legs down the lane, shake my defender and score an easy layup. I'd rather dunk but I'm not afraid to dunk, I just can't at 5'10". I will admit that my ball handling skills are pretty weak for two reasons. One, I don't and never really did practice dribbling like I should have and two, I was afraid of getting picked clean. If I wasn't afraid and didn't settle for just spotting up for jump shots, I would have the passion to work on dribbling. If I spent time and hard work on my dribbling I probably wouldn't be afraid to take it to the hole every time or break the press on my own.
What I am not afraid of right now is writing this blog and spilling my feelings to friends and strangers alike. While looking for work this exercise of publicly talking about these life exercises could be a scary thing, knowing that I also post this blog on LinkedIn where many potential future employers are combing for employees. I would hope that whoever reads this blog sees my strength for acknowledging and facing my weaknesses.
Now, if I wasn't afraid how would my life be different? Is this sort of like, if you didn't need money what would you do today? I hate that question because I don't think you can truly just do whatever you want without money. The money question doesn't seem realistic. But it is realistic to ask how someone's life would be different if they weren't afraid. You can eliminate fear a lot easier than travelling the world and eating whatever you want without money.
If I wasn't afraid of anything I would feel totally free and really live in the now. I wouldn't dwell on mistakes of the past and I wouldn't worry about what I don't have for the future or what might happen in the future if I don't do something significant in the present.
I would probably be more assertive if I wasn't afraid of anything. I have a tendency to "people please" and can be afraid that I will disappoint people, or afraid of people's responses, if I don't do what they ask or what I think they want. I'm not saying that I do all these great things because I know I can still be very selfish too and get too wrapped up in my own struggles. My passion is actually to do so much more for others but I want to be at a point where I help because I can and not because I feel the need to please.
What I learned from the Day 9 activity is: practice and work on what you are passionate about and dribble down the lane for the score. With repetition and hard work you become great. When you are great you are not afraid. You may not make every shot but you sure as heck won't be afraid to take the next shot if you remain passionate and keep working hard at it.
Day 9 of 30 Days of Yes asked me this question: How would my life be different if I wasn't afraid of anything?
My first thought was, I would dribble behind my back, through my legs down the lane, shake my defender and score an easy layup. I'd rather dunk but I'm not afraid to dunk, I just can't at 5'10". I will admit that my ball handling skills are pretty weak for two reasons. One, I don't and never really did practice dribbling like I should have and two, I was afraid of getting picked clean. If I wasn't afraid and didn't settle for just spotting up for jump shots, I would have the passion to work on dribbling. If I spent time and hard work on my dribbling I probably wouldn't be afraid to take it to the hole every time or break the press on my own.
What I am not afraid of right now is writing this blog and spilling my feelings to friends and strangers alike. While looking for work this exercise of publicly talking about these life exercises could be a scary thing, knowing that I also post this blog on LinkedIn where many potential future employers are combing for employees. I would hope that whoever reads this blog sees my strength for acknowledging and facing my weaknesses.
Now, if I wasn't afraid how would my life be different? Is this sort of like, if you didn't need money what would you do today? I hate that question because I don't think you can truly just do whatever you want without money. The money question doesn't seem realistic. But it is realistic to ask how someone's life would be different if they weren't afraid. You can eliminate fear a lot easier than travelling the world and eating whatever you want without money.
If I wasn't afraid of anything I would feel totally free and really live in the now. I wouldn't dwell on mistakes of the past and I wouldn't worry about what I don't have for the future or what might happen in the future if I don't do something significant in the present.
I would probably be more assertive if I wasn't afraid of anything. I have a tendency to "people please" and can be afraid that I will disappoint people, or afraid of people's responses, if I don't do what they ask or what I think they want. I'm not saying that I do all these great things because I know I can still be very selfish too and get too wrapped up in my own struggles. My passion is actually to do so much more for others but I want to be at a point where I help because I can and not because I feel the need to please.
What I learned from the Day 9 activity is: practice and work on what you are passionate about and dribble down the lane for the score. With repetition and hard work you become great. When you are great you are not afraid. You may not make every shot but you sure as heck won't be afraid to take the next shot if you remain passionate and keep working hard at it.
Monday, May 21, 2012
30 Days of Yes - Take a Haiku and Cross the Lake
I decided to squeeze two of the 30 Days of Yes in one blog today because it happened over the weekend. I do want to start off by saying I'm not selling 30 Days of Yes. I am just doing it because I think it will help with my focus on following my passion, determining my purpose and landing a great job, whether it be joining a company or starting my own business. And most importantly, this process will help me enjoy life even more than I already do.
On Saturday my activity was to write a Haiku. I don't have a fear of writing but I have to admit I had forgotten that a Haiku was a 5-7-5 syllable poem. Okay, I don't remember everything from 3rd grade. So what do I write about? I could write something flowery or I could write about what's been on my mind. I chose what's on my mind. What's heavily on my mind.
The Work Will Come Now
The Bills Are Paid In Full Now
No Worries At All
Well, it wasn't romantic. It wasn't really even poetic - but it was honest. I have to get rid of the fear and anxiety that comes with a full-time job search while bills mount. I have to live in the now and not think about hurrying up this enjoyable moment so I can go do.... what?
Sunday's activity was to list my fears. Believe it or not I do not fear death. Like most of us, I have a fear of how I might die. I don't dwell on that at all though. I don't even think about it. I don't really do anything that would put me in life-threatening situations. As you know, I don't do roller coasters.
I feel like I am currently facing my biggest fear right at this time in my life. It's the fear of not currently having full-time employment and what comes along with that - fear of not being able to pay the bills, afford food and some luxuries. I'm mostly concerned about not being able to provide for my family. There is so much more I want to be able to do for my children, my family and even my friends. I guess it's more anxiety than fear. I have never gone much more than a month without a full-time job in my adult life. This feeling is something very new and not good. I have had jobs where you get a tinge of fear, producing daily newscasts with absolute deadlines and working with very demanding clients in the agency world. I experienced the fear of starting up and maintaining my own business. But at the end of the day those fears vanished after accomplishing or resolving what needed to accomplished or resolved. So, as I listed my current fears, almost all of them related to "lack of."
After finishing day 7 and 8 there is a slight temptation to give up on this project or at best not do it on a consistent basis . The desire to break away from this is a good temptation to have though. It's all part of the process. I am learning that the difference between success and failure (not that there's anything wrong with failure because you learn more from failure than success) is the giving up part. We give up when we succumb to our fears. I bet the most successful people are the ones who fail and don't give up. The least successful people or least satisfied and driven people are the ones who give up even before failing or succeeding.
I know there are hundreds of studies out there detailing how millions of people give up on their diets, their activities and their pursuit of life-long goals or even short-term goals. It's really easy to let life and your fears get in the way. During 30 Days of Yes, as I have mentioned before, it's easy to think "I don't have time for this and I don't see any results yet so I need to get back to the approach I was taking before or try something else."
Remember, the beginning of anything you start is always the hardest part. Or as I wrote in a previous blog sometimes the "before starting part", the just thinking about what you may endure, is the hardest part. Just jump in and keep swimming. Eventually it will feel good. Besides it takes just as much effort to go half way across the lake and return to the same spot as it does to continue to the other side.
I'm still all in because I know this approach of re-examining my passion and purpose will get me much closer to achieving my goals.
Patience, my friend. It takes patience and passion to get things done. Patience helps you to work smarter and passion helps you to work harder while having fun.
On Saturday my activity was to write a Haiku. I don't have a fear of writing but I have to admit I had forgotten that a Haiku was a 5-7-5 syllable poem. Okay, I don't remember everything from 3rd grade. So what do I write about? I could write something flowery or I could write about what's been on my mind. I chose what's on my mind. What's heavily on my mind.
The Work Will Come Now
The Bills Are Paid In Full Now
No Worries At All
Well, it wasn't romantic. It wasn't really even poetic - but it was honest. I have to get rid of the fear and anxiety that comes with a full-time job search while bills mount. I have to live in the now and not think about hurrying up this enjoyable moment so I can go do.... what?
Sunday's activity was to list my fears. Believe it or not I do not fear death. Like most of us, I have a fear of how I might die. I don't dwell on that at all though. I don't even think about it. I don't really do anything that would put me in life-threatening situations. As you know, I don't do roller coasters.
I feel like I am currently facing my biggest fear right at this time in my life. It's the fear of not currently having full-time employment and what comes along with that - fear of not being able to pay the bills, afford food and some luxuries. I'm mostly concerned about not being able to provide for my family. There is so much more I want to be able to do for my children, my family and even my friends. I guess it's more anxiety than fear. I have never gone much more than a month without a full-time job in my adult life. This feeling is something very new and not good. I have had jobs where you get a tinge of fear, producing daily newscasts with absolute deadlines and working with very demanding clients in the agency world. I experienced the fear of starting up and maintaining my own business. But at the end of the day those fears vanished after accomplishing or resolving what needed to accomplished or resolved. So, as I listed my current fears, almost all of them related to "lack of."
After finishing day 7 and 8 there is a slight temptation to give up on this project or at best not do it on a consistent basis . The desire to break away from this is a good temptation to have though. It's all part of the process. I am learning that the difference between success and failure (not that there's anything wrong with failure because you learn more from failure than success) is the giving up part. We give up when we succumb to our fears. I bet the most successful people are the ones who fail and don't give up. The least successful people or least satisfied and driven people are the ones who give up even before failing or succeeding.
I know there are hundreds of studies out there detailing how millions of people give up on their diets, their activities and their pursuit of life-long goals or even short-term goals. It's really easy to let life and your fears get in the way. During 30 Days of Yes, as I have mentioned before, it's easy to think "I don't have time for this and I don't see any results yet so I need to get back to the approach I was taking before or try something else."
Remember, the beginning of anything you start is always the hardest part. Or as I wrote in a previous blog sometimes the "before starting part", the just thinking about what you may endure, is the hardest part. Just jump in and keep swimming. Eventually it will feel good. Besides it takes just as much effort to go half way across the lake and return to the same spot as it does to continue to the other side.
I'm still all in because I know this approach of re-examining my passion and purpose will get me much closer to achieving my goals.
Patience, my friend. It takes patience and passion to get things done. Patience helps you to work smarter and passion helps you to work harder while having fun.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
30 Days of Yes - Nature is hot, AC in the car I don't got!
Operation Nature - that was my assignment in 30 Days of Yes www.30daysYes.com yesterday. The task for day 6 was to focus on living in the now and absorb, observe and respect nature. This comes on the heels of having to spend 15 minutes of silent listening yesterday, by far the toughest activity so far in 30 Days of Yes. Taking in nature, as relaxing as that sounds, was almost as difficult as the "listening" activity.
I started out the day taking care of some things that needed to be taken care of. My plan was to reward myself later with that nature time.
That time finally arrived on the way to a TV shoot for a story about sportsmanship in youth sports. I was heading to a little league baseball game. As some of you know the AC in my car is out and will be quite expensive to fix. Despite what is the beginning of what promises to be another record hot summer in the already hot Midwest I have to hold off on the $800 repairs. I decided to start out my observance of nature on the drive over. After all, since I did not have AC, the windows would be open and the natural air would be flowing. What first came to my mind while driving in a no AC car, while trying to think of nature was, "nature is hot." Then that got me thinking about how hot nature really is or how hot mother nature really is. She looks great, smells great, sounds great and feels great. I happen to love hot weather. So, I prefer it when mother nature is hot. I love the smell of the air on a hot day. I will take the feel of hot air over very cold air any day. I love the way hot weather looks. During the warm and hot months (when I lived in Hawaii that was year round) nature's colors contrast beautifully with green thick green trees, blue skies and white clouds. The sounds of summer are abundant with wildlife too and the air is filled with the smell of flowers. I'm sure there's just as strong an argument for nature in the winter too but I love hot weather and yesterday got a chance to find enjoyment in not having AC in my car. I'm not so sure I would be as thrilled if my windows were open in the dead of the coldest winter day.
When I got to the game I took in the sites and sounds of families enjoying their little baseball children making catches and most of the time not, getting hits and most of the time not. It was the warm early evening that made watching a game of baseball more pleasurable. I have been to outdoor baseball games when the wind is blowing and the temps are falling. You don't see nearly the excitement expressed as I did last night.
Yes I enjoyed my observation of nature but let's face it. I cheated. I did not take solitary time to soak it in. I did not respect it as I should have. I did not truly live in the now. I was multi-tasking instead of taking time out.
I'll tell you why it was so difficult to do what I was supposed to do. Although I would describe myself as relaxed and chill that may just be how I express myself. But I am discovering that on the inside I am not as chill and relaxed as I would like to be.
As I have explained before, I love life! I'm happy with my relationships, my experiences, my professional accomplishments and grateful for my very good health. What is blocking my ability to live in the now and build a more rewarding future, which is what I am trying to accomplish through 30 Days of Yes, is my financial situation. In the past exercises I found it easy to explain what I want out of life, express gratitude and forgiveness and do something physically challenging. The activities of "listening" and "taking in nature" both proved to be the toughest for me thus far. Why? because most of the time my thoughts are clogged with finding a job/earning money, paying bills, etc. When I start thinking that way it creates anxiety and guilt for spending time living in the now. I feel like if I am enjoying the moment then I am not working and I can't afford to not work. I need to turn that thought around. If you are not living in the moment then you are not living. I failed on this activity because I made the decision that I was too busy to take 15 minutes and sit under a tree. For that I sentence myself to doing 30 minutes of alone time with nature sometime this weekend. I've been bad. I need a timeout - with nature.
I started out the day taking care of some things that needed to be taken care of. My plan was to reward myself later with that nature time.
That time finally arrived on the way to a TV shoot for a story about sportsmanship in youth sports. I was heading to a little league baseball game. As some of you know the AC in my car is out and will be quite expensive to fix. Despite what is the beginning of what promises to be another record hot summer in the already hot Midwest I have to hold off on the $800 repairs. I decided to start out my observance of nature on the drive over. After all, since I did not have AC, the windows would be open and the natural air would be flowing. What first came to my mind while driving in a no AC car, while trying to think of nature was, "nature is hot." Then that got me thinking about how hot nature really is or how hot mother nature really is. She looks great, smells great, sounds great and feels great. I happen to love hot weather. So, I prefer it when mother nature is hot. I love the smell of the air on a hot day. I will take the feel of hot air over very cold air any day. I love the way hot weather looks. During the warm and hot months (when I lived in Hawaii that was year round) nature's colors contrast beautifully with green thick green trees, blue skies and white clouds. The sounds of summer are abundant with wildlife too and the air is filled with the smell of flowers. I'm sure there's just as strong an argument for nature in the winter too but I love hot weather and yesterday got a chance to find enjoyment in not having AC in my car. I'm not so sure I would be as thrilled if my windows were open in the dead of the coldest winter day.
When I got to the game I took in the sites and sounds of families enjoying their little baseball children making catches and most of the time not, getting hits and most of the time not. It was the warm early evening that made watching a game of baseball more pleasurable. I have been to outdoor baseball games when the wind is blowing and the temps are falling. You don't see nearly the excitement expressed as I did last night.
Yes I enjoyed my observation of nature but let's face it. I cheated. I did not take solitary time to soak it in. I did not respect it as I should have. I did not truly live in the now. I was multi-tasking instead of taking time out.
I'll tell you why it was so difficult to do what I was supposed to do. Although I would describe myself as relaxed and chill that may just be how I express myself. But I am discovering that on the inside I am not as chill and relaxed as I would like to be.
As I have explained before, I love life! I'm happy with my relationships, my experiences, my professional accomplishments and grateful for my very good health. What is blocking my ability to live in the now and build a more rewarding future, which is what I am trying to accomplish through 30 Days of Yes, is my financial situation. In the past exercises I found it easy to explain what I want out of life, express gratitude and forgiveness and do something physically challenging. The activities of "listening" and "taking in nature" both proved to be the toughest for me thus far. Why? because most of the time my thoughts are clogged with finding a job/earning money, paying bills, etc. When I start thinking that way it creates anxiety and guilt for spending time living in the now. I feel like if I am enjoying the moment then I am not working and I can't afford to not work. I need to turn that thought around. If you are not living in the moment then you are not living. I failed on this activity because I made the decision that I was too busy to take 15 minutes and sit under a tree. For that I sentence myself to doing 30 minutes of alone time with nature sometime this weekend. I've been bad. I need a timeout - with nature.
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