Anyone who has read my "30 Days of Yes" blog knows I am searching for full-time work.
Today, I felt compelled to answer a question posted by someone in a LinkedIn thread. The question basically goes like this: "I have years of experience but given the state of the job market should I take the first job offered or continue to hold out for a better job?"
I joined in on the thread but I didn't give a "Yes or No" answer to the question because I don't think there is an "either/or" response. You could say "Yes", because you may not get another offer in this economy. But you wouldn't go marrying the first girl you meet just because you think you will never find another who is a better companion for you. So, the answer could also be "No", because you shouldn't just settle. Instead of answering "yes or no", I joined in on the conversation to illustrate what I have learned in my full-time job search journey hoping to give guidance and encouragement to frustrated job seekers.
Below is an enhanced blog version of my response on LinkedIn. (you are only allowed to use up to 4000 characters when posting on LinkedIn threads and there's much more I wanted to say so that's why I turned it into a blog)
Here's what I have learned hunting for a job in St. Louis, and everywhere else for that matter. I have never been without a job for a long period of time. I have never searched for a job during a down economy. I have been in the broadcast and marketing business for almost 25 years. I came to St. Louis after working and living in Hawaii for 17 years to take a job coaching men's basketball and teach some communications courses at my Alma mater.
To use a basketball term, I thought finding my next job would be a slam dunk because of my career experience. In the past I have always gone from one job to the next interviewing with the hiring manager or the owner of the business. I have never had to use the online process to find a job. In fact, I rarely had to supply a resume because I mostly met with managers who already knew my history.
Well, the slam dunk of finding a job soon became one missed layup after another. As a news person I used to write about unemployment numbers on a monthly basis but those unemployment numbers don't register with you when you are employed.
So here are some job search tips from my personal experience of looking for work:
- These days almost every job you apply for will be through an online process. Do what you can do to find out who the hiring manager is so you can directly reach that person and try to score an in-person meeting.
-There's a science to applying through the online madness. In most cases these days you will have to go through that process even if you do know the hiring manager. You need to make sure words and skills detailed on your resume and cover letter match the words and skills in the job description of the position you are applying for.
- There are a lot of great jobs out there but unfortunately there are a lot of great people applying for the one job you want. Don't worry about the others just focus on yourself.
-People who are employed and who have never been unemployed,especially in the midst of a harsh economy, have trouble relating to what it feels like to be unemployed. I know because I used to think I would always have a job. I used to think if one didn't have a job one must not be good at what they do. That's wrong. There are a lot of extremely qualified people without a job. Don't let the employed frustrate you they may be your future boss. For those who have a job don't get taken advantage of by your employers (Some act as if they can since they know you are lucky to have one) but at the same time be very grateful for having a job.
- You may be told over and over that you are overqualified for many of the jobs out there and not specialized enough to be the perfect fit for other jobs. There's a high demand for specialization but at the same time it seems you have to know how to do many things because a lot of jobs have been consolidated into one job. Do your best to become specialized even if that means taking some new courses or reading up on your trade to enhance what you already do. The more you know about specialty areas the higher the demand will be for you. Plus, it's fun to learn more.
- Get help to revamp your resume. You may think you have a great resume based on your experience alone but you must make sure the style and format of your resume are current. Don't be a job experience hoarder. Clean up the resume. Just like the junk in your home you will have to purge some of your extraneous experience on your resume. It's difficult when you are proud of every job you have held but listing all your jobs make you look old and like a journeyman. Come up with a gripping objective/mission (and you may have to change that paragraph for each new job you apply for so it matches the posted job description). Use bullet points to highlight your skills and make sure those skills match what the employer is looking for. If they don't, don't waste your time applying for the job. You can find current resume templates online or through friends who have updated resumes.
- Work LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and other networks like crazy. By doing this, I have had quite a few coffee meetings with folks in St. Louis who are well-connected. By using LinkedIn and other forms of networking it's a great way to find out who you know working at places where you are applying for jobs. You can also connect with many VIP's nationwide who can offer guidance from afar. You can search on LinkedIn by industry, companies, and names. Subscribe to and follow many of the LinkedIn business groups that are appropriate with your interests. Follow companies and people on Twitter who match your career aspirations. Many jobs get announced through "tweets" before they get posted.
- Don't have shame in telling people you are looking for work. They may know someone who knows someone who is looking for someone like you to fill a job.
- Take this time to evaluate what you really want to do and go after it. Maybe this is a good time for a career change or a good time to follow your lifelong passion.
- Brainstorm with yourself or others to come up with job ideas that are off shoots of what you already do. Don't pigeon hole yourself into your past career (i.e. if you are a teacher you could end up being a good corporate trainer. Or, you could become a consultant in your area of expertise. A lot of companies are outsourcing these days. Your consulting business could turn in to your full-time job.
- Many companies do not return e-mail or phone inquiries about jobs. I return every e-mail so that really bothers me when I don't get responses. Believe me, I get a lot of e-mails too. But don't let this discourage you. All it takes is one person, one job.
- When you post anything on social media regarding your search, make it positive. No one wants to hire or work with anyone who is negative.
- Keep knowing "Yes!" there is a job out there for you.
David Patterson - Marketing, TV broadcast, and some fun and serious stuff that just happens in life!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
30 Days of Yes - From Balancing Act to High Wire Act
Wallenda's grueling high-wire walk was very inspirational and very timely for me. As I watched it live on ABC I watched it as a viewer taking in a sporting event. I was curious. I wanted to see how he would do and I wanted to be able to say, "I watched history in the making on live TV." It was captivating. Then I was drawn into his sense of calm, concentration and confidence. What was even more impressive? Wallenda's post-accomplishment interview. What an amazing person.
Wallenda is the ultimate of 30 Days of Yes. There was not an ounce of "no" in his daredevil activity. I had a pretty tough week of some unfortunate circumstances prior to watching the walk. I won't get into details because many are dealing with far worse situations and the obstacles weren't anything that couldn't be overcome - just a distraction. And if Wallenda can cross high above the turbulent Niagara Falls on a very thin cable then I could do just about anything.
As I watched his interview it really hit me. He was demonstrating two very important parts of life which gets me back to what I am learning in my 30 Days of Yes (which has now become "365 Days of Yes"). My previous blog was about balancing and this blog is about visualizing and realizing accomplishments. There's no doubt that Wallenda could not have crossed that wire without being balanced. And there's no doubt that he could not have crossed that wire if he had fear of failure on his mind. What came out loud and clear to me in his interview was 1. he said he has played out the scenario of crossing Niagara Falls on a tight rope in his mind since he was a young kid. 2. he said he did not allow his mind to be filled with negative possibilities.
It really clicked. after hearing him say this. If he was able to cross Niagara Falls on a tight rope, which was probably one of the most difficult physical and mental feats to ever be attempted, then anyone should be able to accomplish what they want to or need to accomplish. I know my challenges are nothing compared to what he just did so what have I got to be worried about.
Focus on being balanced and keep playing out in your mind what you want to do and don't let fear of failure keep entering your mind.
It' all about "yes, yes." Not "no, no." I don't want to put words into Wallenda's mouth but I bet you while crossing the Niagara, Wallenda only had this on his mind, his gratitude to God and "yes, I will make it all the way across." I'm pretty sure the phrase "no, I can't do this" ever entered his mind.
I recently came across a great blog that relates health fears to Wallenda's walk I want to share with you too.
No Fear: A High-Wire Health Habit
My next activity in 30 Days of Yes is to take a picture of something that resonates with me. Can you guess what that picture will look like?
Thursday, June 14, 2012
30 Days of Yes - The Balancing Act Now
Okay, so on my last blog the picture of me in Patterson, NY was sideways. I tried many times to make the photo right side up and it just wouldn't do it. Maybe it's remaining sideways because that just how I'm feeling - a bit sideways. Not like wine-drinking sideways but more like being balanced.
My kids are with me for the first half of summer so I am trying to balance "enjoying the now" with them (giving them a summer to remember) and my act of finding full-time work while working on some TV news stories for HEC TV. Speaking of that let me give a little plug for HEC TV and a shameless one for me. Currently, there's a piece I did about a Writers Week at Hazelwood West High School here in St. Louis. I actually went to do a story on best-selling author Ridley Pearson (I'm still doing that one too) and when I followed him to this extraordinary event I ended up finding a second story now airing on a show called "Behind the Minds." http://www.hectv.org/programs/series/behind-the-minds/1654/may-2012/?xrs=email#play926
I just finished up a story about a former St. Louis weather meteorologist who has come up with a formula to forecast pollen movement so allergy sufferers can better prepare themselves for those heavy pollen days. St. Louis is one of the toughest places in the nation for those affected by allergies. That story will air in a couple of weeks on a show called "Innovations."www.hectv.org
Today, I'm trying to bang out a script about the St. Louis Sports Commission. The story focuses on how they bring in big dollar events to St. Louis, like the NCAA basketball Sweet 16/Elite 8 rounds. My story will focus on their sportsmanship brigade. The Commission's sportsmanship foundation goes around to youth games recognizing good sportsmanship and citing poor sportsmanship.
It's pretty stressful looking for work 24/7 and entertaining the kids 24/7. The 30 Days of Yes activities have helped me have a sense of calm though. As I mentioned before for those who don't know me, I'm pretty mellow to begin with but my insides to acknowledge the pressure. I'm really working on the whole idea of "living in the now." Coincidentally, someone bought "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and gave it to me upon my return from my trip out East. This person did not know that I was beginning to focus on "living in the now." Yesterday, a well-connected executive placement consultant took time to meet with me. I mentioned how I am really trying to balance kid time with job search time at the moment. I am realizing that if I get off the computer and focus on my children I'm not going to miss out on a job listing. That job posting will still be there when I get back to my laptop. I'm not saying that I don't take this process seriously. Believe me, I put my best foot forward when researching a job and applying for it. I just don't want to regret lost time with my family because I spent time spitting out a bunch of job applications when my time would be better spent being a fun father.
As I am now half way through 30 Days of Yes activities these three questions are being asked of me. www.30yes.com
1. What has been your biggest challenge thus far?
a. Trust. Trust that if I continue to do this I will see results. Remember, since I have started this I have not received a job offer or a windfall of money, or a call to forgive the debts. So, it can be easy to think "this isn't working." But... to be answered in the questions below.
2) What have you been most inspired by?
a. I'm inspired by the beauty of life (even here in St. Louis). The opportunity to be with great people, be loved and supported, the experiences I have had throughout life including jobs and vacations.
3) What are you most grateful for from the first two weeks?
a. here's the rest on the "but.... sentence I began above in answer to question # 1. Although my biggest struggle is "trusting" these activities will work while remaining patient through the process, I have learned to soak up the good I have received and all the good that is going on right "now."
The idea of 30 Days of Yes activities is not to have a specific result (so I believe) but to live your life to it's fullest by enjoying, open and positive. With that attitude you will be inspired, work joyously for what you need and want and then the opportunities will come.
My kids are with me for the first half of summer so I am trying to balance "enjoying the now" with them (giving them a summer to remember) and my act of finding full-time work while working on some TV news stories for HEC TV. Speaking of that let me give a little plug for HEC TV and a shameless one for me. Currently, there's a piece I did about a Writers Week at Hazelwood West High School here in St. Louis. I actually went to do a story on best-selling author Ridley Pearson (I'm still doing that one too) and when I followed him to this extraordinary event I ended up finding a second story now airing on a show called "Behind the Minds." http://www.hectv.org/programs/series/behind-the-minds/1654/may-2012/?xrs=email#play926
I just finished up a story about a former St. Louis weather meteorologist who has come up with a formula to forecast pollen movement so allergy sufferers can better prepare themselves for those heavy pollen days. St. Louis is one of the toughest places in the nation for those affected by allergies. That story will air in a couple of weeks on a show called "Innovations."www.hectv.org
Today, I'm trying to bang out a script about the St. Louis Sports Commission. The story focuses on how they bring in big dollar events to St. Louis, like the NCAA basketball Sweet 16/Elite 8 rounds. My story will focus on their sportsmanship brigade. The Commission's sportsmanship foundation goes around to youth games recognizing good sportsmanship and citing poor sportsmanship.
It's pretty stressful looking for work 24/7 and entertaining the kids 24/7. The 30 Days of Yes activities have helped me have a sense of calm though. As I mentioned before for those who don't know me, I'm pretty mellow to begin with but my insides to acknowledge the pressure. I'm really working on the whole idea of "living in the now." Coincidentally, someone bought "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and gave it to me upon my return from my trip out East. This person did not know that I was beginning to focus on "living in the now." Yesterday, a well-connected executive placement consultant took time to meet with me. I mentioned how I am really trying to balance kid time with job search time at the moment. I am realizing that if I get off the computer and focus on my children I'm not going to miss out on a job listing. That job posting will still be there when I get back to my laptop. I'm not saying that I don't take this process seriously. Believe me, I put my best foot forward when researching a job and applying for it. I just don't want to regret lost time with my family because I spent time spitting out a bunch of job applications when my time would be better spent being a fun father.
As I am now half way through 30 Days of Yes activities these three questions are being asked of me. www.30yes.com
1. What has been your biggest challenge thus far?
a. Trust. Trust that if I continue to do this I will see results. Remember, since I have started this I have not received a job offer or a windfall of money, or a call to forgive the debts. So, it can be easy to think "this isn't working." But... to be answered in the questions below.
2) What have you been most inspired by?
a. I'm inspired by the beauty of life (even here in St. Louis). The opportunity to be with great people, be loved and supported, the experiences I have had throughout life including jobs and vacations.
3) What are you most grateful for from the first two weeks?
a. here's the rest on the "but.... sentence I began above in answer to question # 1. Although my biggest struggle is "trusting" these activities will work while remaining patient through the process, I have learned to soak up the good I have received and all the good that is going on right "now."
The idea of 30 Days of Yes activities is not to have a specific result (so I believe) but to live your life to it's fullest by enjoying, open and positive. With that attitude you will be inspired, work joyously for what you need and want and then the opportunities will come.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
30 Days of Yes - The Trip Didn't Trip Me
It's events like this that can be an easy excuse to give up on something like 30 Days of Yes activities or exercising or dieting. I definitely changed my diet as I ate across the Eastern two thirds of the nation and I curtailed my exercising a bit but I didn't crap out on 30 Days of Yes. You know why? Two reasons: 30 Days of Yes doesn't have to be 30 consecutive days (at least that's what I told myself). This is the very reason why people do give up on goals or dieting and exercising. We think just because we skipped a couple of days we failed and we must quit until the feeling hits again to try some new way of making life better. The other reason why I didn't stop with 30 Days of Yes activities is because part of what I have learned in these activities is to live in the now. So instead of stressing about not writing a daily blog or following a daily activity I chose to take what I have already learned from the activities and apply them to the drive to Boston and back.
By doing this I had one of the most pleasant road trips ever. Our countryside is beautiful. I may not have soaked that in as much before. I would have focused more on getting to the next destination as soon as possible.
The trip was with my girlfriend who was attending her 25th reunion at the University of Connecticut. After the reunion weekend we ventured up to Boston. A place where we both lived separate lives at one point in our lives. I lived in Boston for the beginning of adulthood. She lived in Boston at the beginning of her life.
She planned out an excellent trip with restaurant stops along the way she found through Food Network suggestions. We ate a a cool diner in Indy and an awesome deli in Columbus, OH and the best Italian restaurant in Pittsburgh and perhaps anywhere. We found that gem through a friend of mine I used to work with in TV news in Honolulu. I remembered he grew up in Steel town so I asked for a suggestion. He suggested a place called Girasole's. It just so happened his family owns and runs the restaurant. We stayed there for 3 hours because the food was excellent and the owner, my friend's father, was so entertaining. We also ate the greatest ice cream ever made fresh on the campus of UConn and we visited the country's oldest brewery, located in the tiny town of Pottsville, PA.
We had thought about just flying directly to the reunion but then our story would be different. Today's blog would have been about the long line at check-in, paying $100 plus in add-on fees, another long line at security, smooshed on an airplane, a delayed flight, lost luggage, another long line at the rental car counter and traffic getting out of the airport. Instead my vacation story is about seeing the beautiful country side or our country, seeing small towns that you didn't think existed, meeting the most interesting people and eating at restaurants you never would have found in an airport. I must add, we did not eat at one fast food rest stop restaurant along the way. But I will admit we sneaked in a box of Devil Dogs for the car ride. We also played the game of "spotting" state license plates. Through that game we learned a tidbit about each state and the District of Columbia. We also learned how goofy I can be like when my girlfriend was talking with her sister about Hostess products and describing a Twinkie. Just as she finished talking about her affinity for Twinkies when she was a child I chimed in by asking "and what about those yellow cakes Hostess makes? what were they again?" From here on out we call dumb and forgetful moments "twinkie" moments. We took a lot of photos and instead of saying "cheese" we said "twinkie." So if you see more pictures of us laughing than smiling that's why.
My most favorite day of the trip was taking my girlfriend and her sister around to their old neighborhood and schools and watch them giggle with memories. Watching them helped me relive some of my own memories.
Despite having a great itinerary with places to eat and things to see we were also quite flexible. We both decided it was more important to see people than things. So when we had an opportunity to catch up with an old friend over sightseeing we opted for catching up with old friends.
On the way back, we saw a sign for Patterson, NY. Even though it was not on our itinerary we got off the interstate and drove 7 miles off the path to take pictures of Patterson signs. We ended up staying for lunch and having one of the best pizza's I've ever had and tasting the purest tap water while meeting an old school Italian man at a place called Rocco's.
On this trip, I did my best to live in the now and not worry about what was not getting accomplished or where I needed to be next.
The activities of 30 Days of Yes are now just becoming a part of how I live my life. Be grateful and live in the now for every moment.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
30 Days of Yes - So What If The Light Hasn't Turned Green Yet
I don't know about you but every time I push the elevator button rapidly and repeatedly the elevator arrives immediately. Every time I push the crosswalk button in the same manner the light turns green immediately. Really? No. That never happens. But why do we do it? I know we all do this. I have witnessed it several times and I catch myself doing this too.
I always crack up at the driver who speeds past me and weaves in and out of traffic to get to wherever he's going faster than me. Then, moments later we are both sitting at the same red light side by side. So now he's right back where he started from, still next to me. The difference is, he wasted more gas by punching the accelerator to pass me, risked getting into an accident, and his blood pressure is probably a lot higher than mine because he's in a hurry and upset that he's still right next to me. I know how that guy feels. I've done the same.
Thinking about the ridiculous action of excessively pushing crosswalk and elevator buttons or speeding ahead of someone to end up simultaneously stuck at the same red light made me think about how we have come to expect positive results - immediately. I think that's why most of us give up when trying something new whether it's a diet, exercise or a new year's resolution. As I have been plugging away at the 30 Days of Yes activities, with the idea that this would bring positive changes to my life, I have to remind myself that the end results I am hoping to get will not necessarily happen immediately or even at the end of 30 days. I'm guessing the folks who do PX 90 workouts don't stop after 90 days and keep that new body without exercising again. It's a continuous process and the most important thing is being patient and reflecting on what you are learning about yourself.
You may not notice the grass growing if you keep staring at it but it is growing. Would you give up nurturing the growth of your plants (or even your children) because you didn't notice any growth after standing over it for an hour? If you gave up for that silly reason the grass would certainly die.
As I previously blogged about, I am now at the about the halfway point of 30 Days of Yes and that's when it gets frustrating. The very beginning of anything (just like romantic relationships or new jobs) is always so great because there's so much excitement for what's to come. Then you start to get to the point where it becomes actual work and you don't notice significant results. The results are there (the grass really is growing) but "we" may not "see" the results.
Instead of giving up on yet another "great thing" that isn't working as fast as I would like it to work, I decided to take out my magnifying glass to see the growth in the grass of my current journey. Guess what? I actually saw the grass growing. Yes, the bills are still mounting, the job offers are still out in space and not in my e-mail box yet or phone messages. No, I haven't inherited any money. But, what I have gained is a much calmer sense about how things really are working for the better. Through the activities, I truly am starting to experience and soak in the "now" and not dwell on the past or worry about the future. Just so you know, this isn't some free love or selfish thinking, "do what I please" approach. I still have a conscience and I know I always will. I'm still acting very responsively and taking all the necessary actions to take care of finding that full-time income producing job and doing what's right to pay the bills as best as I can. The difference is, I'm not stressing over the fact that the light hasn't changed and I'm not already on the other side yet missing out on what's apparently a better life. I am learning to enjoy the experience on this side of the street while waiting for the light to change in my favor and not give up just because the light isn't changing as quickly as I demand. If you give up you won't be crossing the street at all. If you aren't patient and you consume your thoughts with dissatisfaction for still being on this side of the street then you have lost the present.
I will give you an example of how 30 Days of Yes thinking helped me the other day as I prepared for a meeting. The old me would come up with a long list of obstacles and impossibilities as to why this opportunity won't have positive results or won't be right for me. I should back up for a second though. I am a very positive person when it comes to helping others and doing work that is assigned to me. I'm result-oriented. In general, I am a very positive person. But, what I have come to grips about myself, as I go through the 30 Day activities, is that I find reasons why I can't do or accomplish something personal -- something "I" want to do. Now back to the meeting. Right before the meeting, I reflected on what "yes" means. Again, "yes" in 30 Days of Yes doesn't mean, "yes" I will try everything (no roller coaster rides for me please or bungee jumping), or "yes" I will do whatever you say. "Yes" means allowing yourself to see that whatever you want to do is possible. It means thinking about why you are able to accomplish something.
As I prepared for my meeting, I listed all the reasons why this opportunity would be a positive move for me and all the reasons why this opportunity would be positive for the person I was meeting with me. With that approach, it turned out to be one of the best and most relaxing meetings I have had in a while. I felt confident. I communicated my thoughts in this meeting in an organized fashion and most of all I am not worried about the outcome.
For now, I will enjoy this side of the road while I wait for the light to turn green. I am learning to stop stressing about what's in my rear view mirror, what I'm missing out on across the street, and take advantage of, and be grateful for what's on the path beneath my feet right now.
I may just find, when the light turns green, I won't even need or want to cross the road after all because the good I am looking for may actually already be on this side of the road.
Patience + Passion + Perseverance = Positive results
I always crack up at the driver who speeds past me and weaves in and out of traffic to get to wherever he's going faster than me. Then, moments later we are both sitting at the same red light side by side. So now he's right back where he started from, still next to me. The difference is, he wasted more gas by punching the accelerator to pass me, risked getting into an accident, and his blood pressure is probably a lot higher than mine because he's in a hurry and upset that he's still right next to me. I know how that guy feels. I've done the same.
Thinking about the ridiculous action of excessively pushing crosswalk and elevator buttons or speeding ahead of someone to end up simultaneously stuck at the same red light made me think about how we have come to expect positive results - immediately. I think that's why most of us give up when trying something new whether it's a diet, exercise or a new year's resolution. As I have been plugging away at the 30 Days of Yes activities, with the idea that this would bring positive changes to my life, I have to remind myself that the end results I am hoping to get will not necessarily happen immediately or even at the end of 30 days. I'm guessing the folks who do PX 90 workouts don't stop after 90 days and keep that new body without exercising again. It's a continuous process and the most important thing is being patient and reflecting on what you are learning about yourself.
You may not notice the grass growing if you keep staring at it but it is growing. Would you give up nurturing the growth of your plants (or even your children) because you didn't notice any growth after standing over it for an hour? If you gave up for that silly reason the grass would certainly die.
As I previously blogged about, I am now at the about the halfway point of 30 Days of Yes and that's when it gets frustrating. The very beginning of anything (just like romantic relationships or new jobs) is always so great because there's so much excitement for what's to come. Then you start to get to the point where it becomes actual work and you don't notice significant results. The results are there (the grass really is growing) but "we" may not "see" the results.
Instead of giving up on yet another "great thing" that isn't working as fast as I would like it to work, I decided to take out my magnifying glass to see the growth in the grass of my current journey. Guess what? I actually saw the grass growing. Yes, the bills are still mounting, the job offers are still out in space and not in my e-mail box yet or phone messages. No, I haven't inherited any money. But, what I have gained is a much calmer sense about how things really are working for the better. Through the activities, I truly am starting to experience and soak in the "now" and not dwell on the past or worry about the future. Just so you know, this isn't some free love or selfish thinking, "do what I please" approach. I still have a conscience and I know I always will. I'm still acting very responsively and taking all the necessary actions to take care of finding that full-time income producing job and doing what's right to pay the bills as best as I can. The difference is, I'm not stressing over the fact that the light hasn't changed and I'm not already on the other side yet missing out on what's apparently a better life. I am learning to enjoy the experience on this side of the street while waiting for the light to change in my favor and not give up just because the light isn't changing as quickly as I demand. If you give up you won't be crossing the street at all. If you aren't patient and you consume your thoughts with dissatisfaction for still being on this side of the street then you have lost the present.
I will give you an example of how 30 Days of Yes thinking helped me the other day as I prepared for a meeting. The old me would come up with a long list of obstacles and impossibilities as to why this opportunity won't have positive results or won't be right for me. I should back up for a second though. I am a very positive person when it comes to helping others and doing work that is assigned to me. I'm result-oriented. In general, I am a very positive person. But, what I have come to grips about myself, as I go through the 30 Day activities, is that I find reasons why I can't do or accomplish something personal -- something "I" want to do. Now back to the meeting. Right before the meeting, I reflected on what "yes" means. Again, "yes" in 30 Days of Yes doesn't mean, "yes" I will try everything (no roller coaster rides for me please or bungee jumping), or "yes" I will do whatever you say. "Yes" means allowing yourself to see that whatever you want to do is possible. It means thinking about why you are able to accomplish something.
As I prepared for my meeting, I listed all the reasons why this opportunity would be a positive move for me and all the reasons why this opportunity would be positive for the person I was meeting with me. With that approach, it turned out to be one of the best and most relaxing meetings I have had in a while. I felt confident. I communicated my thoughts in this meeting in an organized fashion and most of all I am not worried about the outcome.
For now, I will enjoy this side of the road while I wait for the light to turn green. I am learning to stop stressing about what's in my rear view mirror, what I'm missing out on across the street, and take advantage of, and be grateful for what's on the path beneath my feet right now.
I may just find, when the light turns green, I won't even need or want to cross the road after all because the good I am looking for may actually already be on this side of the road.
Patience + Passion + Perseverance = Positive results
Friday, May 25, 2012
30 Days of Yes - Is 30 Days of Yes Some Sort of "Your Life Will Be Perfect in 30 Days" Scam?
I'm now almost half way through this 30 Days of Yes challenge. It's supposed to help me make my life better. So far, I have not been forgiven my debts, I have not received an unexpected windfall, and I have not been offered the mother of all jobs. Is this a scam? I quit!
No, I'm not going to quit. There's no promise that if you do all the activities in 30 days your life will make a complete turnaround. That's not what this is about. The way I'm feeling is what I'm supposed to feel. At least that's the way I feel about this and that's why I'm not giving up.
The beginning of anything is always the toughest. Doctors will tell you that you will probably feel the most pain right before the healing process begins. Fitness trainers will tell you that you will feel pain in the beginning of your new workout regiment. Mostly everything we do that has a tinge of challenge in it will have some sort of discomfort at the start.
As I go through these activities I am beginning to see that it's all about what we experience and learn from the activities itself as opposed to "doing" the activity. The activity makes us think. For instance, I am learning to identify what keeps me from expressing gratitude, being one with nature, listening in silence, forgiving, following my passion and desired purpose, or what inspires me to express gratitude, be one with nature, listen in silence, forgive and follow my passion and desired purpose.
I'm starting to figure out what "Yes" truly means. "Yes" doesn't mean, I will do anything, or "yes sir, yes mam." To me, "Yes" is looking at all the reasons why you can do what you want to do or you are driven to do instead of coming up with reasons why we can't accomplish something or overcome an obstacle.
How many of us don't do something for the simple reason of outlining the reasons why we can't accomplish that goal or dream? I'm raising my hand. We often decide our fate before we even begin. Most people who achieve their goals and realize their dreams say "yes" to the challenge and "no" to the obstacles.
No, I'm not going to quit. There's no promise that if you do all the activities in 30 days your life will make a complete turnaround. That's not what this is about. The way I'm feeling is what I'm supposed to feel. At least that's the way I feel about this and that's why I'm not giving up.
The beginning of anything is always the toughest. Doctors will tell you that you will probably feel the most pain right before the healing process begins. Fitness trainers will tell you that you will feel pain in the beginning of your new workout regiment. Mostly everything we do that has a tinge of challenge in it will have some sort of discomfort at the start.
As I go through these activities I am beginning to see that it's all about what we experience and learn from the activities itself as opposed to "doing" the activity. The activity makes us think. For instance, I am learning to identify what keeps me from expressing gratitude, being one with nature, listening in silence, forgiving, following my passion and desired purpose, or what inspires me to express gratitude, be one with nature, listen in silence, forgive and follow my passion and desired purpose.
I'm starting to figure out what "Yes" truly means. "Yes" doesn't mean, I will do anything, or "yes sir, yes mam." To me, "Yes" is looking at all the reasons why you can do what you want to do or you are driven to do instead of coming up with reasons why we can't accomplish something or overcome an obstacle.
How many of us don't do something for the simple reason of outlining the reasons why we can't accomplish that goal or dream? I'm raising my hand. We often decide our fate before we even begin. Most people who achieve their goals and realize their dreams say "yes" to the challenge and "no" to the obstacles.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
30 Days of Yes - If I Wasn't Afraid I Would Dribble Down the Lane
Captains Blog - Day 9. I know that was kind of corny but I caught a snippet of a Trekkie documentary on TV today so it made me think of Star Trek. I'm sure bloggers across the world have already overused "Captains Blog." Now I'm one of them and the temptation is out of my system.
Day 9 of 30 Days of Yes asked me this question: How would my life be different if I wasn't afraid of anything?
My first thought was, I would dribble behind my back, through my legs down the lane, shake my defender and score an easy layup. I'd rather dunk but I'm not afraid to dunk, I just can't at 5'10". I will admit that my ball handling skills are pretty weak for two reasons. One, I don't and never really did practice dribbling like I should have and two, I was afraid of getting picked clean. If I wasn't afraid and didn't settle for just spotting up for jump shots, I would have the passion to work on dribbling. If I spent time and hard work on my dribbling I probably wouldn't be afraid to take it to the hole every time or break the press on my own.
What I am not afraid of right now is writing this blog and spilling my feelings to friends and strangers alike. While looking for work this exercise of publicly talking about these life exercises could be a scary thing, knowing that I also post this blog on LinkedIn where many potential future employers are combing for employees. I would hope that whoever reads this blog sees my strength for acknowledging and facing my weaknesses.
Now, if I wasn't afraid how would my life be different? Is this sort of like, if you didn't need money what would you do today? I hate that question because I don't think you can truly just do whatever you want without money. The money question doesn't seem realistic. But it is realistic to ask how someone's life would be different if they weren't afraid. You can eliminate fear a lot easier than travelling the world and eating whatever you want without money.
If I wasn't afraid of anything I would feel totally free and really live in the now. I wouldn't dwell on mistakes of the past and I wouldn't worry about what I don't have for the future or what might happen in the future if I don't do something significant in the present.
I would probably be more assertive if I wasn't afraid of anything. I have a tendency to "people please" and can be afraid that I will disappoint people, or afraid of people's responses, if I don't do what they ask or what I think they want. I'm not saying that I do all these great things because I know I can still be very selfish too and get too wrapped up in my own struggles. My passion is actually to do so much more for others but I want to be at a point where I help because I can and not because I feel the need to please.
What I learned from the Day 9 activity is: practice and work on what you are passionate about and dribble down the lane for the score. With repetition and hard work you become great. When you are great you are not afraid. You may not make every shot but you sure as heck won't be afraid to take the next shot if you remain passionate and keep working hard at it.
Day 9 of 30 Days of Yes asked me this question: How would my life be different if I wasn't afraid of anything?
My first thought was, I would dribble behind my back, through my legs down the lane, shake my defender and score an easy layup. I'd rather dunk but I'm not afraid to dunk, I just can't at 5'10". I will admit that my ball handling skills are pretty weak for two reasons. One, I don't and never really did practice dribbling like I should have and two, I was afraid of getting picked clean. If I wasn't afraid and didn't settle for just spotting up for jump shots, I would have the passion to work on dribbling. If I spent time and hard work on my dribbling I probably wouldn't be afraid to take it to the hole every time or break the press on my own.
What I am not afraid of right now is writing this blog and spilling my feelings to friends and strangers alike. While looking for work this exercise of publicly talking about these life exercises could be a scary thing, knowing that I also post this blog on LinkedIn where many potential future employers are combing for employees. I would hope that whoever reads this blog sees my strength for acknowledging and facing my weaknesses.
Now, if I wasn't afraid how would my life be different? Is this sort of like, if you didn't need money what would you do today? I hate that question because I don't think you can truly just do whatever you want without money. The money question doesn't seem realistic. But it is realistic to ask how someone's life would be different if they weren't afraid. You can eliminate fear a lot easier than travelling the world and eating whatever you want without money.
If I wasn't afraid of anything I would feel totally free and really live in the now. I wouldn't dwell on mistakes of the past and I wouldn't worry about what I don't have for the future or what might happen in the future if I don't do something significant in the present.
I would probably be more assertive if I wasn't afraid of anything. I have a tendency to "people please" and can be afraid that I will disappoint people, or afraid of people's responses, if I don't do what they ask or what I think they want. I'm not saying that I do all these great things because I know I can still be very selfish too and get too wrapped up in my own struggles. My passion is actually to do so much more for others but I want to be at a point where I help because I can and not because I feel the need to please.
What I learned from the Day 9 activity is: practice and work on what you are passionate about and dribble down the lane for the score. With repetition and hard work you become great. When you are great you are not afraid. You may not make every shot but you sure as heck won't be afraid to take the next shot if you remain passionate and keep working hard at it.
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