30 Days of Yes - So What If The Light Hasn't Turned Green Yet

I don't know about you but every time I push the elevator button rapidly and repeatedly the elevator arrives immediately. Every time I push the crosswalk button in the same manner the light turns green immediately. Really? No. That never happens. But why do we do it? I know we all do this. I have witnessed it several times and I catch myself doing this too.

I always crack up at the driver who speeds past me and weaves in and out of traffic to get to wherever he's going faster than me. Then, moments later we are both sitting at the same red light side by side. So now he's right back where he started from, still next to me. The difference is, he wasted more gas by punching the accelerator to pass me, risked getting into an accident, and his blood pressure is probably a lot higher than mine because he's in a hurry and upset that he's still right next to me. I know how that guy feels. I've done the same.

Thinking about the ridiculous action of excessively pushing crosswalk and elevator buttons or speeding ahead of someone to end up simultaneously stuck at the same red light made me think about how we have come to expect positive results - immediately. I think that's why most of us give up when trying something new whether it's a diet, exercise or a new year's resolution.  As I have been plugging away at the 30 Days of Yes activities, with the idea that this would bring positive changes to my life, I have to remind myself that the end results I am hoping to get will not necessarily happen immediately or even at the end of 30 days. I'm guessing the folks who do PX 90 workouts don't stop after 90 days and keep that new body without exercising again. It's a continuous process and the most important thing is being patient and reflecting on what you are learning about yourself.

You may not notice the grass growing if you keep staring at it but it is growing. Would you give up nurturing the growth of your plants (or even your children) because you didn't notice any growth after standing over it for an hour? If you gave up for that silly reason the grass would certainly die.

As I previously blogged about, I am now at the about the halfway point of 30 Days of Yes and that's when it gets frustrating. The very beginning of anything (just like romantic relationships or new jobs) is always so great because there's so much excitement for what's to come. Then you start to get to the point where it becomes actual work and you don't notice significant results. The results are there (the grass really is growing) but "we" may not "see" the results.

Instead of giving up on yet another "great thing" that isn't working as fast as I would like it to work, I decided to take out my magnifying glass to see the growth in the grass of my current journey. Guess what? I actually saw the grass growing. Yes, the bills are still mounting, the job offers are still out in space and not in my e-mail box yet or phone messages. No, I haven't inherited any money. But, what I have gained is a much calmer sense about how things really are working for the better. Through the activities, I truly am starting to experience and soak in the "now" and not dwell on the past or worry about the future. Just so you know, this isn't some free love or selfish thinking, "do what I please" approach. I still have a conscience and I know I always will. I'm still acting very responsively and taking all the necessary actions to take care of finding that full-time income producing job and doing what's right to pay the bills as best as I can. The difference is, I'm not stressing over the fact that the light hasn't changed and I'm not already on the other side yet missing out on what's apparently a better life.  I am learning to enjoy the experience on this side of the street while waiting for the light to change in my favor and not give up just because the light isn't changing as quickly as I demand. If you give up you won't be crossing the street at all. If you aren't patient and you consume your thoughts with dissatisfaction for still being on this side of the street then you have lost the present.

I will give you an example of how 30 Days of Yes thinking helped me the other day as I prepared for a meeting. The old me would come up with a long list of obstacles and impossibilities as to why this opportunity won't have positive results or won't be right for me.  I should back up for a second though. I am a very positive person when it comes to helping others and doing work that is assigned to me. I'm result-oriented. In general, I am a very positive person. But, what I have come to grips about myself, as I go through the 30 Day activities, is that I find reasons why I can't do or accomplish something personal -- something "I" want to do. Now back to the meeting. Right before the meeting, I reflected on what "yes" means. Again, "yes" in 30 Days of Yes doesn't mean, "yes" I will try everything (no roller coaster rides for me please or bungee jumping), or "yes" I will do whatever you say. "Yes" means allowing yourself to see that whatever you want to do is possible. It means thinking about why you are able to accomplish something.

As I prepared for my meeting, I listed all the reasons why this opportunity would be a positive move for me and all the reasons why this opportunity would be positive for the person I was meeting with me. With that approach, it turned out to be one of the best and most relaxing meetings I have had in a while. I felt confident. I communicated my thoughts in this meeting in an organized fashion and most of all I am not worried about the outcome.

For now, I will enjoy this side of the road while I wait for the light to turn green.  I am learning to stop stressing about what's in my rear view mirror, what I'm missing out on across the street, and take advantage of, and be grateful for what's on the path beneath my feet right now.

I may just find, when the light turns green, I won't even need or want to cross the road after all because the good I am looking for may actually already be on this side of the road.

Patience + Passion + Perseverance = Positive results