30 Days of Yes - Forgiveness

Today on 30 Days of Yes it's all about forgiveness. http://www.yes30.com/

This activity definitely takes some deep thinking. It didn't take long for me to figure who I think I need to forgive because to my knowledge not that many people have hurt me during my 47 years.

But let's get back to yesterday's activity - Gratitude. After I sent my snail mail letter I spent some time with my youngest son on a beautiful afternoon here in St. Louis and then went to catch up on some more LOST episodes with my girlfriend and her son. I am very grateful for how my day went. I love ending my day with scenes from Hawaii. I am grateful I got to live there for such a long time.

I am also grateful for receiving e-mails from an old news colleague who works for a large aircraft manufacturing company on the West Coast and a new LinkedIn friend who works for that same company in St. Louis. Even though I said I started on this "30 Days of Yes" as an approach to stop "looking" for jobs and start following my passion and purpose I did apply online for a St. Louis communications job with that aircraft company. Remember I said I would stop "looking" for jobs but if a good opportunity comes up through this process I will definitely go for it.  I am grateful because these two guys took time out of their busy schedule to give me some tips and encouragement in regards to the open job.

Forgiveness - the act of it is not really as hard as it seems. It's the "do you really feel in your heart that you have forgiven and moved on" is what's hard. I used to look at forgiveness as letting someone know that it's okay what they did. Now I see forgiveness as not letting whatever happened hold you back. The person I have decided to forgive did not do any physical harm to me or scream and yell at me for something but the decision this person made has had an impact on my life for a couple of years. I have handled that person's decision with grace and still have kind conversations with this person. I do not see this person very often anymore so the chances of interaction are rare. But I haven't really forgiven this person in the sense that I have moved on. Hopefully today I will finally move on. I have started by understanding that this person made a decision (about me) and felt that this was a right decision. I don't believe this person had any animosity or anger toward me - he/she was just making a decision that he/she thought would be best. Of course I didn't agree with the decision and still don't agree with the decision and still don't understand why the decision was made. But the decision was made and I need to move on and when I move on I bet I will find that the decision this person made ends up being a good decision for my well-being too.

Yesterday, when picking up a Subway sandwich in my neighborhood the lady next to me ordered some macadamia nut cookies. Naturally, I sparked up a conversation about living in Hawaii for a long time. She told me how much she loved her last vacation there but unfortunately it was right before she found out she had stage 4 cancer so she hasn't been able to travel since. Well, you would never know that this woman was suffering from cancer. She was probably in her 60's, looked healthy and was expressing so much gratitude - and forgiveness. She then told me how she and her husband recently had $50,000 of sentimental jewelry stolen from their home. The thief was caught and she told me she has forgiven the woman and is now worried that it will be hard for her to testify against her. I told her that she can forgive and tell the truth at the same time. What a wonderful experience to meet this woman who is going through a much worse situation than I am yet she expressed gratitude and forgiveness with such grace. I'm wondering if she was sent to me on purpose to help me with my back to back activities of Gratitude and Forgiveness.

What I learned from today's activity is to do my best to genuinely forgive and move forward. The hard part will be making sure that my forgiveness toward this person is genuinely everlasting and that I don't dwell on what could have been if the decision was not made. I used to think that I would be ready to forgive when I get a new job but what I think I really need to do is forgive in order to get my next job. It's time to move on.