Flashback: LOST in St. Louis?

I Haven't Had a Full-time Job for a Year and My New Passion and Purpose in Life is to Stop "Looking" for Jobs

Yesterday, as I started a blog series about the above, I told you I would reveal to you what passion and purpose I have decided to follow. Well, I have been recently watching LOST on Netflix (when I'm not looking for jobs) and it got me thinking what is so gripping about that show. If you knew how the show was going to end you probably wouldn't be so glued to it. So, I decided rather than tell you how I hope my story ends I would take you on the daily journey and we will find out together how it ends. I will give you a hint though. My passion and purpose will not take me to a Third World Nation to join the Peace Corp or to a travelling circus, at least not now. Most of you know that I have been a TV producer and marketing/PR professional for most of my working life, picking up three Emmy Awards on the way, being a managing partner of my own firm and even coaching college basketball. With that in mind, I can hint to you that my purpose and passion is something creative and something involving working with and helping people realize their purpose and passion. I promise. there will be some flash forwards outlining my passion but let's start with a flashback. 

When we lived in Hawaii we started watching LOST as a family to support a network TV show being shot in our backyard. We found it to be pretty compelling. I happen to think it is the best written and produced show ever on TV. I did not realize how great the show was though until just a couple of weeks ago. When we moved to St. Louis and I started my new job, a whole new career of coaching college basketball, I stopped watching LOST. That was about the middle of Season 2. With a show like that you can't just jump right back in or you will be lost for real.  A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend started watching LOST on Netflix with her son and invited me to join them on this nightly adventure. I was excited to see the recognizable scenery of Hawaii again and to once again catch the beginning of Season 1 Episode 22 (Kate's Flashback). If you don't blink you will get a glimpse of this blogger (me), two of his children and his minivan. Although I'm not an actor I did have to act because those suitcases I'm carrying in the scene were empty and I had to walk and have a look on my face like they were heavy or the director promised to fill the baggage with bowling balls. 

I had forgotten how great this show was. I am hooked again. It's easier to follow too when watching night after night as opposed to waiting for a week and each year a hiatus waiting for the next season.

MY FLASHBACK

As I mentioned in my blog yesterday, earlier this week I decided to take a new approach on searching for full-time employment after almost a year of filling out nearly 200 job applications with no results. I do not regret one moment of this process. I just think that I haven't gone about it in the best way so that's why my new purpose and passion is to stop"looking" for jobs. I still want and need a job but I have to stop looking for them and start looking for my passion and what I have decided my purpose is. I do not regret or feel the past year has been a waste because I have also gained so much: What I have gained is: new friends and business contacts who have been helpful and encouraging, taking time out of their busy schedules to guide me. I have gained a sharper looking resume  and have gotten pretty good at writing cover letters and investigating companies and finding people I know somehow connected with these companies. I have gained a whole new respect for valuing challenging and rewarding employment. I have gained family time. Although, I kept myself busy searching and applying I didn't have a boss' schedule to keep so I was able to attend many of my children's activities and spend 24/7 with them during winter, spring and summer breaks. I have gained gratitude for what I already have and stopped focusing on what I don't have. That can be hard when you are concerned on a daily basis about where the next paycheck will come from to pay the bills that were due last month. I have gained focus and confidence in what I am best at and what I enjoy doing most.

Okay, here's really where the flashback begins. I was born in Marin County, just north of San Francisco. Marin is one of the wealthiest counties in the nation so it's easy to grow up thinking life will be plentiful without having to work for it. For me it has nothing to do with being spoiled. It has more to do that life was comfortable and I was a kid so I didn't think about working.  I'm not going to get too much into my childhood but I can tell you it was great. My parents are great parents. I grew up with a fun older brother and three fun younger sisters. Two of them came into our lives when I was already just about in college so that sort of gave me the experience of knowing what it would be like to be a father. I grew up in an awesome neighborhood where you never worried about bullies or crime. I pretty much played basketball every day after school and on the weekends on a schoolyard court with my friends. My grandparents on my mom's side lived in the city so we saw them often. In addition to my own father, my grandfather was a mentor. He was sort of famous in San Francisco because he was general manager of the ABC station in the Bay Area in the 60's and part of the 70's and back then when you were GM of a TV station that was a huge deal because TV was still pretty new.  I won't even begin to list who he knew but I do remember Willie Mays once coming to our house.

I preferred reading the newspaper over reading books so that's probably where my interest for journalism began. And, my grandfather had a cool life working in television. Everywhere he went people said hi to him. I thought that would be a fun way to live.

When I got out of college I moved to Boston to work for World Monitor Television. I learned from a lot of people with network news experience. But Hawaii was always calling me. We vacationed there often during my junior high and high school years. I even lived there during my kindergarten year. Shortly after getting married I went over on a vacation. While there I interviewed for a job to produce a local newscast. Two weeks later I got the "yes" call and they moved us out there.

Hawaii is not an easy place to live because of the high cost of living but every weekend we got to go to Hawaii without getting on a plane. We lived there for 17 years. We became friends with a lot of great people and all four of our kids were born there. I got very involved in their school as a PTA president so I was able to spend a lot of time with them and help out their school.  I worked for two TV stations and about three marketing companies and eventually became a managing partner of my own firm before leaving the Islands almost four years ago. That's when I got the "call" or found a great opportunity to be the men's head basketball coach at my alma mater, Principia College, on the bluffs of Elsah, Il overlooking the Mississippi River. It was  certainly going to be a change and it certainly turned out to be a turning point in my life.

The coaching was fun. I loved it. I had a lot to learn but I had a lot to give too. I'm not really an x's and o's guy (although I did install an excellent offense) so I focused more on motivating these young student athletes to grow into responsible and respectful young men. After all, this was Division III basketball and I felt it was more important for them to have tools for life rather than tools for basketball.  I helped guide the program to its best finish in six seasons in what turned out to be my third and final season. Much to my surprise, even to this day, my contract was not renewed but I was able to leave that program in better shape than I found it. What was even more to my surprise was how hard it was going to be to find another job. I had been unemployed once but it lasted only a month and the unemployment notice in that situation was a mutual decision. Plus, I was in Hawaii where I knew hundreds of employers and had a stellar reputation. Now, I'm LOST in St. Louis where all I know are college professors and students at my own institution and colleagues in the coaching world. And one more thing, unemployment was at the highest level ever since I have been a working person. In the past, when I applied for work I had these elements in my favor, economy was good, I always knew the person who was doing the hiring, I always got face-to-face interviews and the only time I was asked for my resume was after I got the job just so they could keep it in their HR files.

During my three plus years in St. Louis some other things changed too. I got a divorce and I became grandfather. I have a very supportive girlfriend  and my kids are awesome. I just adore them. They range in age from 20 to 6, two boys, two girls. I would write more about them but in the spirit of maintaining their privacy I will stop here.

Finally, (I hate using that word as an announcement for a conclusion but I love hearing it or seeing it when I'm on the receiving end of a long speech or long article), let's talk briefly about what I'm going to change about my job "search" and the journey I hope you will enjoy reading about.

As I told you in yesterday's blog (the first of this series so if you just started reading today you don't have much to catch up on and you won't have to wait for my story to come out on Netflix), for the past week I have been thinking more about my passion than my job search mostly out of frustration. For years I have been told, "follow your passion." "You can do whatever you want." And for years I have believed it but I guess for years I have felt I didn't have the time or the guts to determine my passion and purpose and follow my passion and purpose. Well 200 job applications later in less than a year I finally decided to take the plunge, figure out what I'm truly most passionate about and go for it. And what I'm passionate about is really not too far of a stretch from the path I have already followed.

Yesterday, I went and met with a good friend of mine who is funny, creative, and has been what we call a "purpose" coach on the side. I actually went to meet with him to talk story, catch up and help him since he just announced leaving his job. I remember he had started this program called 30 Days of Yes. I knew a little bit about it but not much so I asked him to tell me about it. I was really there to give him some marketing advice and job hunting advice - hoping that I could help him do in a week what has taken me a year by giving him some shortcut advice.  After hearing about 30 Days of Yes I said I want to do this. I said I have read books, Tony Robbins, Depak Chopra, etc. listened to advice but I have never had a coach lead me through something like this on a daily basis.  In the end, the only advice I gave him was he didn't need my help in finding a job because he had already figured out his passion and purpose.

Tomorrow, I will tell you the story of Day 1 of 30 Days of Yes!