30 Days of Yes - Yes, Your Perfect Job is Out There

Anyone who has read my "30 Days of Yes" blog knows I am searching for full-time work. 


Today, I felt compelled to answer a question posted by someone in a LinkedIn thread. The question basically goes like this:  "I have years of experience but given the state of the job market should I take the first job offered or continue to hold out for a better job?"


I joined in on the thread but I didn't give a "Yes or No" answer to the question because I don't think there is an "either/or" response.  You could say "Yes", because you may not get another offer in this economy. But you wouldn't go marrying the first girl you meet just because you think you will never find another who is a better companion for you. So, the answer could also be "No", because you shouldn't just settle. Instead of answering "yes or no", I joined in on the conversation to illustrate what I have learned in my full-time job search journey hoping to give guidance and encouragement to frustrated job seekers. 


Below is an enhanced blog version of my response on LinkedIn. (you are only allowed to use up to 4000 characters when posting on LinkedIn threads and there's much more I wanted to say so that's why I turned it into a blog)  


Here's what I have learned hunting for a job in St. Louis, and everywhere else for that matter. I have never been without a job for a long period of time. I have never searched for a job during a down economy. I have been in the broadcast and marketing business for almost 25 years. I came to St. Louis after working and living in Hawaii for 17 years to take a job coaching men's basketball and teach some communications courses at my Alma mater.


To use a basketball term, I thought finding my next job would be a slam dunk because of my career experience. In the past I have always gone from one job to the next interviewing with the hiring manager or the owner of the business. I have never had to use the online process to find a job. In fact, I rarely had to supply a resume because I mostly met with managers who already knew my history. 

Well, the slam dunk of finding a job soon became one missed layup after another. As a news person I used to write about unemployment numbers on a monthly basis but those unemployment numbers don't register with you when you are employed. 

So here are some job search tips from my personal experience of looking for work: 
- These days almost every job you apply for will be through an online process. Do what you can do to find out who the hiring manager is so you can directly reach that person and try to score an in-person meeting. 


-There's a science to applying through the online madness. In most cases these days you will have to go through that process even if you do know the hiring manager. You need to make sure words and skills detailed on your resume and cover letter match the words and skills in the job description of the position you are applying for. 

- There are a lot of great jobs out there but unfortunately there are a lot of great people applying for the one job you want. Don't worry about the others just focus on yourself. 


-People who are employed and who have never been unemployed,especially in the midst of a harsh economy, have trouble relating to what it feels like to be unemployed. I know because I used to think I would always have a job. I used to think if one didn't have a job one must not be good at what they do. That's wrong. There are a lot of extremely qualified people without a job. Don't let the employed frustrate you they may be your future boss. For those who have a job don't get taken advantage of by your employers (Some act as if they can since they know you are lucky to have one) but at the same time be very grateful for having a job. 


- You may be told over and over that you are overqualified for many of the jobs out there and not specialized enough to be the perfect fit for other jobs. There's a high demand for specialization but at the same time it seems you have to know how to do many things because a lot of jobs have been consolidated into one job. Do your best to become specialized even if that means taking some new courses or reading up on your trade to enhance what you already do. The more you know about specialty areas the higher the demand will be for you. Plus, it's fun to learn more. 

- Get help to revamp your resume. You may think you have a great resume based on your experience alone but you must make sure the style and format of your resume are current. Don't be a job experience hoarder. Clean up the resume. Just like the junk in your home you will have to purge some of your extraneous experience on your resume. It's difficult when you are proud of every job you have held but listing all your jobs make you look old and like a journeyman.  Come up with a gripping objective/mission (and you may have to change that paragraph for each new job you apply for so it matches the posted job description). Use bullet points to highlight your skills and make sure those skills match what the employer is looking for. If they don't, don't waste your time applying for the job. You can find current resume templates online or through friends who have updated resumes.

- Work LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and other networks like crazy. By doing this, I have had quite a few coffee meetings with folks in St. Louis who are well-connected. By using LinkedIn and other forms of networking it's a great way to find out who you know working at places where you are applying for jobs. You can also connect with many VIP's nationwide who can offer guidance from afar. You can search on LinkedIn by industry, companies, and names. Subscribe to and follow many of the LinkedIn business groups that are appropriate with your interests. Follow companies and people on Twitter who match your career aspirations. Many jobs get announced through "tweets" before they get posted.

- Don't have shame in telling people you are looking for work. They may know someone who knows someone who is looking for someone like you to fill a job. 

- Take this time to evaluate what you really want to do and go after it. Maybe this is a good time for a career change or a good time to follow your lifelong passion. 

- Brainstorm with yourself or others to come up with job ideas that are off shoots of what you already do. Don't pigeon hole yourself into your past career (i.e. if you are a teacher you could end up being a good corporate trainer. Or, you could become a consultant in your area of expertise. A lot of companies are outsourcing these days. Your consulting business could turn in to your full-time job. 

- Many companies do not return e-mail or phone inquiries about jobs. I return every e-mail so that really bothers me when I don't get responses. Believe me, I get a lot of e-mails too. But don't let this discourage you. All it takes is one person, one job. 


- When you post anything on social media regarding your search, make it positive. No one wants to hire or work with anyone who is negative.


- Keep knowing "Yes!" there is a job out there for you.

30 Days of Yes - From Balancing Act to High Wire Act

I meant to write this blog shortly after watching Nik Wallenda's Watch Wallenda's Walk on ABC amazing trek into Canada on a thin wire high above Niagara Falls. I've got the kids with me 24/7 for the first half of summer so as I mentioned in my last blog I'm really focusing on living in the now (that would be with my children right now) while balancing the quest for full-time employment.

Wallenda's grueling high-wire walk was very inspirational and very timely for me. As I watched it live on ABC I watched it as a viewer taking in a sporting event. I was curious. I wanted to see how he would do and I wanted to be able to say, "I watched history in the making on live TV." It was captivating. Then I was drawn into his sense of calm, concentration and confidence. What was even more impressive? Wallenda's post-accomplishment interview. What an amazing person.

Wallenda is the ultimate of 30 Days of Yes. There was not an ounce of "no" in his daredevil activity. I had a pretty tough week of some unfortunate circumstances prior to watching the walk. I won't get into details because many are dealing with far worse situations and the obstacles weren't anything that couldn't be overcome - just a distraction. And if Wallenda can cross high above the turbulent Niagara Falls on a very thin cable then I could do just about anything.

As I watched his interview it really hit me. He was demonstrating two very important parts of life which gets me back to what I am learning in my 30 Days of Yes (which has now become "365 Days of Yes"). My previous blog was about balancing and this blog is about visualizing and realizing accomplishments. There's no doubt that Wallenda could not have crossed that wire without being balanced. And there's no doubt that he could not have crossed that wire if he had fear of failure on his mind. What came out loud and clear to me in his interview was 1. he said he has played out the scenario of crossing Niagara Falls on a tight rope in his mind since he was a young kid. 2. he said he did not allow his mind to be filled with negative possibilities.


It really clicked. after hearing him say this. If he was able to cross Niagara Falls on a tight rope, which was probably one of the most difficult physical and mental feats to ever be attempted, then anyone should be able to accomplish what they want to or need to accomplish. I know my challenges are nothing compared to what he just did so what have I got to be worried about.


Focus on being balanced and keep playing out in your mind what you want to do and don't let fear of failure keep entering your mind.


It' all about "yes, yes." Not "no, no." I don't want to put words into Wallenda's mouth but I bet you while crossing the Niagara, Wallenda only had this on his mind, his gratitude to God and "yes, I will make it all the way across." I'm pretty sure the phrase "no, I can't do this" ever entered his mind.


I recently came across a great blog that relates health fears to Wallenda's walk I want to share with you too.
No Fear: A High-Wire Health Habit


My next activity in 30 Days of Yes is to take a picture of something that resonates with me. Can you guess what that picture will look like?

30 Days of Yes - The Balancing Act Now

Okay, so on my last blog the picture of me in Patterson, NY was sideways. I tried many times to make the photo right side up and it just wouldn't do it. Maybe it's remaining sideways because that just how I'm feeling - a bit sideways. Not like wine-drinking sideways but more like being balanced.

My kids are with me for the first half of summer so I am trying to balance "enjoying the now" with them (giving them a summer to remember) and my act of finding full-time work while working on some TV news stories for HEC TV. Speaking of that let me give a little plug for HEC TV and a shameless one for me. Currently, there's a piece I did about a Writers Week at Hazelwood West High School here in St. Louis. I actually went to do a story on best-selling author Ridley Pearson (I'm still doing that one too) and when I followed him to this extraordinary event I ended up finding a second story now airing on a show called "Behind the Minds." http://www.hectv.org/programs/series/behind-the-minds/1654/may-2012/?xrs=email#play926

I just finished up a story about a former St. Louis weather meteorologist who has come up with a formula to forecast pollen movement so allergy sufferers can better prepare themselves for those heavy pollen days. St. Louis is one of the toughest places in the nation for those affected by allergies. That story will air in a couple of weeks on a show called "Innovations."www.hectv.org

Today, I'm trying to bang out a script about the St. Louis Sports Commission. The story focuses on how they bring in big dollar events to St. Louis, like the NCAA basketball Sweet 16/Elite 8 rounds. My story will focus on their sportsmanship brigade. The Commission's sportsmanship foundation goes around to youth games recognizing good sportsmanship and citing poor sportsmanship.

It's pretty stressful looking for work 24/7 and entertaining the kids 24/7. The 30 Days of Yes activities have helped me have a sense of calm though. As I mentioned before for those who don't know me, I'm pretty mellow to begin with but my insides to acknowledge the pressure. I'm really working on the whole idea of "living in the now." Coincidentally, someone bought "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and gave it to me upon my return from my trip out East. This person did not know that I was beginning to focus on "living in the now." Yesterday, a well-connected executive placement consultant took time to meet with me. I mentioned how I am really trying to balance kid time with job search time at the moment. I am realizing that if I get off the computer and focus on my children I'm not going to miss out on a job listing. That job posting will still be there when I get back to my laptop. I'm not saying that I don't take this process seriously. Believe me, I put my best foot forward when researching a job and applying for it. I just don't want to regret lost time with my family because I spent time spitting out a bunch of job applications when my time would be better spent being a fun father.

As I am now half way through 30 Days of Yes activities these three questions are being asked of me. www.30yes.com

1. What has been your biggest challenge thus far?
    a. Trust. Trust that if I continue to do this I will see results. Remember, since I have started this I have not received a job offer or a windfall of money, or a call to forgive the debts. So, it can be easy to think "this isn't working." But... to be answered in the questions below.

2) What have you been most inspired by?
    a. I'm inspired by the beauty of life (even here in St. Louis). The opportunity to be with great people, be loved and supported, the experiences I have had throughout life including jobs and vacations.

3) What are you most grateful for from the first two weeks?
    a. here's the rest on the "but.... sentence I began above in answer to question # 1. Although my biggest struggle is "trusting" these activities will work while remaining patient through the process, I have learned to soak up the good I have received and all the good that is going on right "now."

The idea of 30 Days of Yes activities is not to have a specific result (so I believe) but to live your life to it's fullest by enjoying, open and positive. With that attitude you will be inspired, work joyously for what you need and want and then the opportunities will come.

30 Days of Yes - The Trip Didn't Trip Me

Did you all think I gave up on 30 Days of Yes? I have been on the road, literally on the Interstates. Traveled more than 2,000 miles from St. Louis to Boston and back. Didn't have much access to my computer since I was driving and not a lot of internet access either. But that's not my excuse for not writing. I purposely put aside the pen while on this trip.

It's events like this that can be an easy excuse to give up on something like 30 Days of Yes activities or exercising or dieting. I definitely changed my diet as I ate across the Eastern two thirds of the nation and I curtailed my exercising a bit but I didn't crap out on 30 Days of Yes. You know why? Two reasons: 30 Days of Yes doesn't have to be 30 consecutive days (at least that's what I told myself). This is the very reason why people do give up on goals or dieting and exercising. We think just because we skipped a couple of days we failed and we must quit until the feeling hits again to try some new way of making life better. The other reason why I didn't stop with 30 Days of Yes activities is because part of what I have learned in these activities is to live in the now. So instead of stressing about not writing a daily blog or following a daily activity I chose to take what I have already learned from the activities and apply them to the drive to Boston and back.

By doing this I had one of the most pleasant road trips ever. Our countryside is beautiful. I may not have soaked that in as much before. I would have focused more on getting to the next destination as soon as possible.

The trip was with my girlfriend who was attending her 25th reunion at the University of Connecticut. After the reunion weekend we ventured up to Boston. A place where we both lived separate lives at one point in our lives. I lived in Boston for the beginning of adulthood. She lived in Boston at the beginning of her life.

She planned out an excellent trip with restaurant stops along the way she found through Food Network suggestions. We ate a a cool diner in Indy and an awesome deli in Columbus, OH and the best Italian restaurant in Pittsburgh and perhaps anywhere. We found that gem through a friend of mine I used to work with in TV news in Honolulu. I remembered he grew up in Steel town so I asked for a suggestion. He suggested a place called Girasole's. It just so happened his family owns and runs the restaurant. We stayed there for 3 hours because the food was excellent and the owner, my friend's father, was so entertaining.  We also ate the greatest ice cream ever made fresh on the campus of UConn and we visited the country's oldest brewery, located in the tiny town of Pottsville, PA.

We had thought about just flying directly to the reunion but then our story would be different. Today's blog would have been about the long line at check-in, paying $100 plus in add-on fees, another long line at security, smooshed on an airplane, a delayed flight, lost luggage, another long line at the rental car counter and traffic getting out of the airport. Instead my vacation story is about seeing the beautiful country side or our country, seeing small towns that you didn't think existed, meeting the most interesting people and eating at restaurants you never would have found in an airport.  I must add, we did not eat at one fast food rest stop restaurant along the way. But I will admit we sneaked in a box of Devil Dogs for the car ride. We also played the game of "spotting" state license plates. Through that game we learned a tidbit about each state and the District of Columbia. We also learned how goofy I can be like when my girlfriend was talking with her sister about Hostess products and describing a Twinkie. Just as she finished talking about her affinity for Twinkies when she was a child I chimed in by asking "and what about those yellow cakes Hostess makes? what were they again?"  From here on out we call dumb and forgetful moments "twinkie" moments.  We took a lot of photos and instead of saying "cheese" we said "twinkie." So if you see more pictures of us laughing than smiling that's why.

My most favorite day of the trip was taking my girlfriend and her sister around to their old neighborhood and schools and watch them giggle with memories. Watching them helped me relive some of my own memories.

Despite having a great itinerary with places to eat and things to see we were also quite flexible. We both decided it was more important to see people than things. So when we had an opportunity to catch up with an old friend over sightseeing we opted for catching up with old friends.

On the way back, we saw a sign for Patterson, NY. Even though it was not on our itinerary we got off the interstate and drove 7 miles off the path to take pictures of Patterson signs. We ended up staying for lunch and having one of the best pizza's I've ever had and tasting the purest tap water while meeting an old school Italian man at a place called Rocco's.

On this trip, I did my best to live in the now and not worry about what was not getting accomplished or where I needed to be next.

The activities of 30 Days of Yes are now just becoming a part of how I live my life. Be grateful and live in the now for every moment.

30 Days of Yes - So What If The Light Hasn't Turned Green Yet

I don't know about you but every time I push the elevator button rapidly and repeatedly the elevator arrives immediately. Every time I push the crosswalk button in the same manner the light turns green immediately. Really? No. That never happens. But why do we do it? I know we all do this. I have witnessed it several times and I catch myself doing this too.

I always crack up at the driver who speeds past me and weaves in and out of traffic to get to wherever he's going faster than me. Then, moments later we are both sitting at the same red light side by side. So now he's right back where he started from, still next to me. The difference is, he wasted more gas by punching the accelerator to pass me, risked getting into an accident, and his blood pressure is probably a lot higher than mine because he's in a hurry and upset that he's still right next to me. I know how that guy feels. I've done the same.

Thinking about the ridiculous action of excessively pushing crosswalk and elevator buttons or speeding ahead of someone to end up simultaneously stuck at the same red light made me think about how we have come to expect positive results - immediately. I think that's why most of us give up when trying something new whether it's a diet, exercise or a new year's resolution.  As I have been plugging away at the 30 Days of Yes activities, with the idea that this would bring positive changes to my life, I have to remind myself that the end results I am hoping to get will not necessarily happen immediately or even at the end of 30 days. I'm guessing the folks who do PX 90 workouts don't stop after 90 days and keep that new body without exercising again. It's a continuous process and the most important thing is being patient and reflecting on what you are learning about yourself.

You may not notice the grass growing if you keep staring at it but it is growing. Would you give up nurturing the growth of your plants (or even your children) because you didn't notice any growth after standing over it for an hour? If you gave up for that silly reason the grass would certainly die.

As I previously blogged about, I am now at the about the halfway point of 30 Days of Yes and that's when it gets frustrating. The very beginning of anything (just like romantic relationships or new jobs) is always so great because there's so much excitement for what's to come. Then you start to get to the point where it becomes actual work and you don't notice significant results. The results are there (the grass really is growing) but "we" may not "see" the results.

Instead of giving up on yet another "great thing" that isn't working as fast as I would like it to work, I decided to take out my magnifying glass to see the growth in the grass of my current journey. Guess what? I actually saw the grass growing. Yes, the bills are still mounting, the job offers are still out in space and not in my e-mail box yet or phone messages. No, I haven't inherited any money. But, what I have gained is a much calmer sense about how things really are working for the better. Through the activities, I truly am starting to experience and soak in the "now" and not dwell on the past or worry about the future. Just so you know, this isn't some free love or selfish thinking, "do what I please" approach. I still have a conscience and I know I always will. I'm still acting very responsively and taking all the necessary actions to take care of finding that full-time income producing job and doing what's right to pay the bills as best as I can. The difference is, I'm not stressing over the fact that the light hasn't changed and I'm not already on the other side yet missing out on what's apparently a better life.  I am learning to enjoy the experience on this side of the street while waiting for the light to change in my favor and not give up just because the light isn't changing as quickly as I demand. If you give up you won't be crossing the street at all. If you aren't patient and you consume your thoughts with dissatisfaction for still being on this side of the street then you have lost the present.

I will give you an example of how 30 Days of Yes thinking helped me the other day as I prepared for a meeting. The old me would come up with a long list of obstacles and impossibilities as to why this opportunity won't have positive results or won't be right for me.  I should back up for a second though. I am a very positive person when it comes to helping others and doing work that is assigned to me. I'm result-oriented. In general, I am a very positive person. But, what I have come to grips about myself, as I go through the 30 Day activities, is that I find reasons why I can't do or accomplish something personal -- something "I" want to do. Now back to the meeting. Right before the meeting, I reflected on what "yes" means. Again, "yes" in 30 Days of Yes doesn't mean, "yes" I will try everything (no roller coaster rides for me please or bungee jumping), or "yes" I will do whatever you say. "Yes" means allowing yourself to see that whatever you want to do is possible. It means thinking about why you are able to accomplish something.

As I prepared for my meeting, I listed all the reasons why this opportunity would be a positive move for me and all the reasons why this opportunity would be positive for the person I was meeting with me. With that approach, it turned out to be one of the best and most relaxing meetings I have had in a while. I felt confident. I communicated my thoughts in this meeting in an organized fashion and most of all I am not worried about the outcome.

For now, I will enjoy this side of the road while I wait for the light to turn green.  I am learning to stop stressing about what's in my rear view mirror, what I'm missing out on across the street, and take advantage of, and be grateful for what's on the path beneath my feet right now.

I may just find, when the light turns green, I won't even need or want to cross the road after all because the good I am looking for may actually already be on this side of the road.

Patience + Passion + Perseverance = Positive results    

30 Days of Yes - Is 30 Days of Yes Some Sort of "Your Life Will Be Perfect in 30 Days" Scam?

I'm now almost half way through this 30 Days of Yes challenge. It's supposed to help me make my life better. So far, I have not been forgiven my debts, I have not received an unexpected windfall, and I have not been offered the mother of all jobs. Is this a scam? I quit!

No, I'm not going to quit. There's no promise that if you do all the activities in 30 days your life will make a complete turnaround. That's not what this is about. The way I'm feeling is what I'm supposed to feel. At least that's the way I feel about this and that's why I'm not giving up.

The beginning of anything is always the toughest. Doctors will tell you that you will probably feel the most pain right before the healing process begins. Fitness trainers will tell you that you will feel pain in the beginning of your new workout regiment. Mostly everything we do that has a tinge of challenge in it will have some sort of discomfort at the start.

As I go through these activities I am beginning to see that it's all about what we experience and learn from the activities itself as opposed to "doing" the activity. The activity makes us think. For instance, I am learning to identify what keeps me from expressing gratitude, being one with nature, listening in silence, forgiving, following my passion and desired purpose, or what inspires me to express gratitude, be one with nature, listen in silence, forgive and follow my passion and desired purpose.

I'm starting to figure out what "Yes" truly means. "Yes" doesn't mean, I will do anything, or "yes sir, yes mam." To me, "Yes" is looking at all the reasons why you can do what you want to do or you are driven to do instead of coming up with reasons why we can't accomplish something or overcome an obstacle.

How many of us don't do something for the simple reason of outlining the reasons why we can't accomplish that goal or dream? I'm raising my hand. We often decide our fate before we even begin. Most people who achieve their goals and realize their dreams say "yes" to the challenge and "no" to the obstacles.

30 Days of Yes - If I Wasn't Afraid I Would Dribble Down the Lane

Captains Blog - Day 9. I know that was kind of corny but I caught a snippet of a Trekkie documentary on TV today so it made me think of Star Trek. I'm sure bloggers across the world have already overused "Captains Blog." Now I'm one of them and the temptation is out of my system.

Day 9 of 30 Days of Yes asked me this question: How would my life be different if I wasn't afraid of anything?

My first thought was, I would dribble behind my back, through my legs down the lane, shake my defender and score an easy layup. I'd rather dunk but I'm not afraid to dunk, I just can't at 5'10". I will admit that my ball handling skills are pretty weak for two reasons. One, I don't and never really did practice dribbling like I should have and two, I was afraid of getting picked clean. If I wasn't afraid and didn't settle for just spotting up for jump shots, I would have the passion to work on dribbling. If I spent time and hard work on my dribbling I probably wouldn't be afraid to take it to the hole every time or break the press on my own.

What I am not afraid of right now is writing this blog and spilling my feelings to friends and strangers alike. While looking for work this exercise of publicly talking about these life exercises could be a scary thing, knowing that I also post this blog on LinkedIn where many potential future employers are combing for employees. I would hope that whoever reads this blog sees my strength for acknowledging and facing my weaknesses.

Now, if I wasn't afraid how would my life be different? Is this sort of like, if you didn't need money what would you do today? I hate that question because I don't think you can truly just do whatever you want without money. The money question doesn't seem realistic. But it is realistic to ask how someone's life would be different if they weren't afraid. You can eliminate fear a lot easier than travelling the world and eating whatever you want without money.

If I wasn't afraid of anything I would feel totally free and really live in the now. I wouldn't dwell on mistakes of the past and I wouldn't worry about what I don't have for the future or what might happen in the future if I don't do something significant in the present.

I would probably be more assertive if I wasn't afraid of anything. I have a tendency to "people please" and can be afraid that I will disappoint people, or afraid of people's responses, if I don't do what they ask or what I think they want. I'm not saying that I do all these great things because I know I can still be very selfish too and get too wrapped up in my own struggles.  My passion is actually to do so much more for others but I want to be at a point where I help because I can and not because I feel the need to please.

What I learned from the Day 9 activity is: practice and work on what you are passionate about and dribble down the lane for the score. With repetition and hard work you become great. When you are great you are not afraid. You may not make every shot but you sure as heck won't be afraid to take the next shot if you remain passionate and keep working hard at it.

30 Days of Yes - Take a Haiku and Cross the Lake

I decided to squeeze two of the 30 Days of Yes in one blog today because it happened over the weekend. I do want to start off by saying I'm not selling 30 Days of Yes.  I am just doing it because I think it will help with my focus on following my passion, determining my purpose and landing a great job, whether it be joining a company or starting my own business. And most importantly, this process will help me enjoy life even more than I already do.

On Saturday my activity was to write a Haiku. I don't have a fear of writing but I have to admit I had forgotten that a Haiku was a 5-7-5 syllable poem. Okay, I don't remember everything from 3rd grade. So what do I write about? I could write something flowery or I could write about what's been on my mind. I chose what's on my mind. What's heavily on my mind.

The Work Will Come Now
The Bills Are Paid In Full Now
No Worries At All

Well, it wasn't romantic. It wasn't really even poetic - but it was honest. I have to get rid of the fear and anxiety that comes with a full-time job search while bills mount. I have to live in the now and not think about hurrying up this enjoyable moment so I can go do.... what?

Sunday's activity was to list my fears. Believe it or not I do not fear death. Like most of us, I have a fear of how I might die. I don't dwell on that at all though. I don't even think about it. I don't really do anything that would put me in life-threatening situations. As you know, I don't do roller coasters.

I feel like I am currently facing my biggest fear right at this time in my life. It's the fear of not currently having full-time employment and what comes along with that - fear of not being able to pay the bills, afford food and some luxuries. I'm mostly concerned about not being able to provide for my family. There is so much more I want to be able to do for my children, my family and even my friends. I guess it's more anxiety than fear. I have never gone much more than a month without a full-time job in my adult life. This feeling is something very new and not good. I have had jobs where you get a tinge of fear, producing daily newscasts with absolute deadlines and working with very demanding clients in the agency world. I experienced the fear of starting up and maintaining my own business. But at the end of the day those fears vanished after accomplishing or resolving what needed to accomplished or resolved. So, as I listed my current fears, almost all of them related to "lack of."

After finishing day 7 and 8 there is a slight temptation to give up on this project or at best not do it on a consistent basis . The desire to break away from this is a good temptation to have though. It's all part of the process. I am learning that the difference between success and failure (not that there's anything wrong with failure because you learn more from failure than success) is the giving up part. We give up when we succumb to our fears. I bet the most successful people are the ones who fail and don't give up. The least successful people or least satisfied and driven people are the ones who give up even before failing or succeeding.

I know there are hundreds of studies out there detailing how millions of people give up on their diets, their activities and their pursuit of life-long goals or even short-term goals. It's really easy to let life and your fears get in the way. During 30 Days of Yes, as I have mentioned before, it's easy to think "I don't have time for this and I don't see any results yet so I need to get back to the approach I was taking before or try something else."

Remember, the beginning of anything you start is always the hardest part. Or as I wrote in a previous blog sometimes the "before starting part", the just thinking about what you may endure, is the hardest part. Just jump in and keep swimming. Eventually it will feel good. Besides it takes just as much effort to go half way across the lake and return to the same spot as it does to continue to the other side.

I'm still all in because I know this approach of re-examining my passion and purpose will get me much closer to achieving my goals.

Patience, my friend. It takes patience and passion to get things done. Patience helps you to work smarter and passion helps you to work harder while having fun.

30 Days of Yes - Nature is hot, AC in the car I don't got!

Operation Nature - that was my assignment in 30 Days of Yes www.30daysYes.com yesterday. The task for day 6 was to focus on living in the now and absorb, observe and respect nature. This comes on the heels of having to spend 15 minutes of silent listening yesterday, by far the toughest activity so far in 30 Days of Yes. Taking in nature, as relaxing as that sounds, was almost as difficult as the "listening" activity. 


I started out the day taking care of some things that needed to be taken care of. My plan was to reward myself later with that nature time.


That time finally arrived on the way to a TV shoot for a story about sportsmanship in youth sports. I was heading to a little league baseball game. As some of you know the AC in my car is out and will be quite expensive to fix. Despite what is the beginning of what promises to be another record hot summer in the already hot Midwest I have to hold off on the $800 repairs. I decided to start out my observance of nature on the drive over. After all, since I did not have AC, the windows would be open and the natural air would be flowing.  What first came to my mind while driving in a no AC car, while trying to think of nature was, "nature is hot." Then that got me thinking about how hot nature really is or how hot mother nature really is. She looks great, smells great, sounds great and feels great. I happen to love hot weather. So, I prefer it when mother nature is hot. I love the smell of the air on a hot day. I will take the feel of hot air over very cold air any day. I love the way hot weather looks. During the warm and hot months (when I lived in Hawaii that was year round) nature's colors contrast beautifully with green thick green trees, blue skies and white clouds. The sounds of summer are abundant with wildlife too and the air is filled with the smell of flowers. I'm sure there's just as strong an argument for nature in the winter too but I love hot weather and yesterday got a chance to find enjoyment in not having AC in my car. I'm not so sure I would be as thrilled if my windows were open in the dead of the coldest winter day.  


When I got to the game I took in the sites and sounds of families enjoying their little baseball children making catches and most of the time not, getting hits and most of the time not. It was the warm early evening that made watching a game of baseball more pleasurable. I have been to outdoor baseball games when the wind is blowing and the temps are falling. You don't see nearly the excitement expressed as I did last night.


Yes I enjoyed my observation of nature but let's face it. I cheated. I did not take solitary time to soak it in. I did not respect it as I should have. I did not truly live in the now. I was multi-tasking instead of taking time out.


I'll tell you why it was so difficult to do what I was supposed to do. Although I would describe myself as relaxed and chill that may just be how I express myself.  But I am discovering that on the inside I am not as chill and relaxed as I would like to be. 

As I have explained before, I love life! I'm happy with my relationships, my experiences, my professional accomplishments and grateful for my very good health. What is blocking my ability to live in the now and build a more rewarding future, which is what I am trying to accomplish through 30 Days of Yes,  is my financial situation. In the past exercises I found it easy to explain what I want out of  life, express gratitude and forgiveness and do something physically challenging. The activities of  "listening" and "taking in nature" both proved to be the toughest for me thus far. Why? because most of the time my thoughts are clogged with finding a job/earning money, paying bills, etc. When I start thinking that way it creates anxiety and guilt for spending time living in the now. I feel like if I am enjoying the moment then I am not working and I can't afford to not work. I need to turn that thought around. If you are not living in the moment then you are not living.  I failed on this activity because I made the decision that I was too busy to take 15 minutes and sit under a tree. For that I sentence myself to doing 30 minutes of alone time with nature sometime this weekend. I've been bad. I need a timeout - with nature.

30 Days of Yes - Silence is Loud

Yesterday was day 5 of 30 Days of Yes. www.yes30.com.  It promised to be the most challenging of the days so far and it was. I was instructed to put at least 15 minutes aside for just pure listening. It sounds easy and rather enjoyable. Another opportunity for a "working" nap, perhaps. A guilt-free nap since it was an assignment.

I have mediated and prayed many times in my life but I don't think I have tried to just "listen" without generating thoughts through my head. When I pray and mediate I mostly express gratitude and then I visualize a good life and retrace the good life I have had. What I discovered when going for absolute silence was that silence can be rather loud.

First, I just tried to listen to nature. What I heard was my neighbors upstairs walking and they never stopped walking. That thought lead to the inner question "when you live in an apartment how far can you actually walk?" After I really didn't answer that question in my head I tried to get back to silence. I heard a lot of white noise, which either means my head is empty or very busy. Then I heard myself talking to myself saying things like, "don't talk, I have to listen." I decided to do some deep breathing and all I heard was my deep breathing followed with daydreaming and not "listening."

Although this was just one activity in 30 Days of Yes I am going to do this every day so I get good at it, just like I will express gratitude every day, focus on truly forgiving everyday, kick it up a notch on my physical activity everyday and diligently work on overcoming obstacles keeping me from my passion and purpose everyday.

Today's assignment has to do with soaking up nature. That was easy to do in Hawaii and should be good for today given that the weather is perfect here in the Midwest. I'm glad it's not tomorrow's activity because it's supposed to be 90 plus and humid here. Not sure if AC is considered nature.

30 Days of Yes - Let's Get Physical

The photo in today's blog is not just another goofy mug (head) shot of me. It's a photo to sort of prove I did what I said I did today for today's activity. It's day 4 of 30 Days of Yes and if you just started reading the blog for the first time, no worries, my blog is not like having to keep up with LOST. The blogs are easy to go back and read or if you'd rather just jump right in that's easy too.

My activity today was to do something physical, like working out, hiking, biking, or running. Whatever you want to do. But the challenge was to do something you don't ordinarily do. Since I workout almost daily, the physical part would be simple but the figuring what to do different would be more difficult. What did I choose? Swimming. Okay, that's not really that big of a deal. I grew up in California, lived most of my adult life in Hawaii. I've done a lot of swimming. But how many of you can relate to forcing yourself to submerge your body into cold water. How many of you just plain give up on jumping into a cold pool or ocean?  I'm raising my hand. We have an indoor pool where I live. The outdoor pool isn't open yet so the indoor pool was a nice respite from Winter time blues earlier this year. Then the heater broke. It is so cold that even my youngest son, who often begs me to go swimming, did an about face after dipping his toes in the water a couple of weekends ago. It was that memory that helped me decide this would be a good physical challenge. The picture of me is to prove in the best way I could without risking ruining my camera phone taking a picture of myself while swimming, that I did get my hair wet.

I started off the morning thinking back on the previous activities of identifying my passions, gratitude and forgiveness. Then I did a little work, setting up some story interviews for the educational channel I freelance for, and then I went to the gym to do my regular, daily physical activity before going for the challenging swim. I should add that I did push myself harder in my regular workout this morning by sprinting more in the spirit of today's activity. 

Again, the challenging part was not the swim because I can do a decent 20 laps. It was the jumping in part that had me thinking about just going home.

On the way to the pool it didn't help to hear on the radio the story of Washington National's pitcher Stephen Strasburg who accidentally applied Icy Hot ointment to his private parts before the game. Needless to say it made for a very uncomfortable and painful evening on the mound. So, was that the feeling I was in for when submerging the lower half of my body into an icy pool? Do I really have to do this? I worked out already, I did something physical. I will just write about that. No, I had to do this. I got to the pool, took off my shoes and shirt and slowly lowered myself into to a pool that was even colder than I remembered. There was a woman, only separated by glass, on a treadmill with a perfect view of me either swimming or wimping out. It's like when you realize you are walking the wrong way and you don't want to turn back around in the opposite direction because people will wonder why you are doing a pirouette in the middle of the sidewalk. I could not turn around or that one witness would think how silly (or creepy) it was to see a grown man take off his shirt to bathe his toes in an indoor pool for just a couple of minutes. I slowly took the challenge. I got in waste deep, lost my breath and nearly my heart. After a few minutes I jumped the rest of the way in. It was still cold but it got better. I did about ten laps and called it a workout. In the end it felt good. It didn't feel good because it was exercise, it felt good because I did something I was hesitant about and after doing it I realized that it was a better feeling to actually do it than the feeling I had about not wanting to do it. So what did I learn from today's activity? Just jump in. Jumping in the pool this morning was like jumping into life. There are a lot of things we don't do because we either don't want to out of laziness or don't do because we have fear or doubt about it. Nike says "Just Do It!" I say "Just Jump In!"

Tomorrow's 30 Days of Yes is kind of a big deal.    

30 Days of Yes - Forgiveness

Today on 30 Days of Yes it's all about forgiveness. http://www.yes30.com/

This activity definitely takes some deep thinking. It didn't take long for me to figure who I think I need to forgive because to my knowledge not that many people have hurt me during my 47 years.

But let's get back to yesterday's activity - Gratitude. After I sent my snail mail letter I spent some time with my youngest son on a beautiful afternoon here in St. Louis and then went to catch up on some more LOST episodes with my girlfriend and her son. I am very grateful for how my day went. I love ending my day with scenes from Hawaii. I am grateful I got to live there for such a long time.

I am also grateful for receiving e-mails from an old news colleague who works for a large aircraft manufacturing company on the West Coast and a new LinkedIn friend who works for that same company in St. Louis. Even though I said I started on this "30 Days of Yes" as an approach to stop "looking" for jobs and start following my passion and purpose I did apply online for a St. Louis communications job with that aircraft company. Remember I said I would stop "looking" for jobs but if a good opportunity comes up through this process I will definitely go for it.  I am grateful because these two guys took time out of their busy schedule to give me some tips and encouragement in regards to the open job.

Forgiveness - the act of it is not really as hard as it seems. It's the "do you really feel in your heart that you have forgiven and moved on" is what's hard. I used to look at forgiveness as letting someone know that it's okay what they did. Now I see forgiveness as not letting whatever happened hold you back. The person I have decided to forgive did not do any physical harm to me or scream and yell at me for something but the decision this person made has had an impact on my life for a couple of years. I have handled that person's decision with grace and still have kind conversations with this person. I do not see this person very often anymore so the chances of interaction are rare. But I haven't really forgiven this person in the sense that I have moved on. Hopefully today I will finally move on. I have started by understanding that this person made a decision (about me) and felt that this was a right decision. I don't believe this person had any animosity or anger toward me - he/she was just making a decision that he/she thought would be best. Of course I didn't agree with the decision and still don't agree with the decision and still don't understand why the decision was made. But the decision was made and I need to move on and when I move on I bet I will find that the decision this person made ends up being a good decision for my well-being too.

Yesterday, when picking up a Subway sandwich in my neighborhood the lady next to me ordered some macadamia nut cookies. Naturally, I sparked up a conversation about living in Hawaii for a long time. She told me how much she loved her last vacation there but unfortunately it was right before she found out she had stage 4 cancer so she hasn't been able to travel since. Well, you would never know that this woman was suffering from cancer. She was probably in her 60's, looked healthy and was expressing so much gratitude - and forgiveness. She then told me how she and her husband recently had $50,000 of sentimental jewelry stolen from their home. The thief was caught and she told me she has forgiven the woman and is now worried that it will be hard for her to testify against her. I told her that she can forgive and tell the truth at the same time. What a wonderful experience to meet this woman who is going through a much worse situation than I am yet she expressed gratitude and forgiveness with such grace. I'm wondering if she was sent to me on purpose to help me with my back to back activities of Gratitude and Forgiveness.

What I learned from today's activity is to do my best to genuinely forgive and move forward. The hard part will be making sure that my forgiveness toward this person is genuinely everlasting and that I don't dwell on what could have been if the decision was not made. I used to think that I would be ready to forgive when I get a new job but what I think I really need to do is forgive in order to get my next job. It's time to move on.

30 Days of Yes - Day 2 (Gratitude)

Today, I sent the snail mail letter of gratitude.

On Friday, I had the privilege of conducting media training sessions for soldiers based at Ft. Leonard Wood, MO. Living in Hawaii and being a news person most of my professional career and being the son of a Korean War Vet I had sort of an understanding of military sacrifices - but not really since I was too young for Vietnam and too old for both Iraqi and Afghanistan Wars. Most of the soldiers I had trained on Friday had been deployed at least once to either the Iraqi or Afghanistan theater if not both. The men and women were great and positive despite what they have witnessed and risked. I am truly grateful for those who defend the way we get to live on a daily basis. Whether politically we agree or not about war in general or specific operations, these young people are still out there unselfishly protecting the way are accustomed to living and the way we want to live. I am also grateful for being hired to do this job and have this experience.

On Mother's Day, my 8th/9th grade girls basketball club team had a game scheduled right smack in the middle of the day. At first I wasn't grateful for that for two reason, 1. I would not have enough players because they would be with mom as they should be. 2. I kind of wanted to have a mother's day brunch too. But it turned out to be an experience to be extremely grateful for. We only had three players so I asked the league director if we could borrow players from another team. He talked with the coach of probably the best team in the league who had two games that day and she agreed to give us five players. That means her girls were going to play 3 games in one day. These girls were great and we actually won our first game. It wasn't the win that was so rewarding it was the meshing of two different teams expressing two different sides of gratitude. The girls on my team were so grateful to play with and learn from such sweet and talented girls. The girls we borrowed from the best team in the league were so grateful to see the joy in my girls and to be able to help and play without the pressure of winning (since this game didn't count for them). Yes, winning can make one feel better but the joy began from the opening tipoff, when we weren't winning. That was for at least the first 8 minutes. It was the joy and gratitude that got them the victory. The joy and gratitude lead them to playing hard, playing smart and overall just having a fun time.

My weekend also included seeing the St. Louis Symphony do the greatest hits of Led Zeppelin (It was awesome!), a walk through Laumeier Sculpture Park for an incredible art fair (Yes, I went to an art fair and really enjoyed the talent of these artists) and making a Mother's Day spaghetti dinner for my girlfriend and her son (I don't think my spaghetti was as good as the artwork and Led Zeppelin music).

There is so much to be grateful for in my life. I didn't need Mother's Day to remind me how great my mother raised me and how loving she is. I have experienced so many neat things in my life from family, children and friends, to travel, food and entertainment, to safe homes and beautiful communities I have lived in, to some of the most rewarding and creative jobs anyone can have.  Television, marketing, and NCAA basketball coaching? Now that's fun.



Back to the snail mail gratitude letter I sent as my activity on Day 2 of 30 Days of Yes. http://www.yes30.com/

It will be interesting to see the response and I hope to report on that in a couple of days - depending how quickly the snail moves from the post office to the mail box. Btw, I'm grateful for the U.S. Postal Service too. I'm always amazed how you just pay 40 cents or so, drop it off in a big pile of other mail and then it gets to the exact place (most of the time) in just a couple of days (most of the time). If someone gave you 40 cents to deliver a letter I bet you wouldn't do it. I do have a confession to make about dropping off something in a US Mail Box. When I was a kid I once put a half finished milkshake in one. What was I thinking? One, I probably ruined all of the mail and two, I love milkshakes. What a waste. If you ever got a milkshake-stained letter from Belvedere, CA back in the 70's that was from me and hopefully you will forgive me because tomorrow's activity in 30 Days of Yes is about forgiveness.

The letter I sent today, is going to someone who I probably said "thank you" to many times and hopefully I have demonstrated my gratitude many times but this person deserves a handwritten surprise.  What I learned about today's activity is not to take any relationship for granted, whether it be someone at work, a family member, your best friend or your significant other. I also determined that I spend wasted time dwelling on what I think I do for others and disappointment if I don't get the same gratitude, acknowledgement and respect in return. It's a response/feeling I need to change. It's not that I give specifically to get something in return, because I get a lot of joy out of giving, but I will get discouraged if my generosity goes unnoticed. If we all expressed genuine gratitude on a regular basis toward each other I believe there would be much less conflict in relationships. I guess there are two positive ways you can approach this. 1. give unconditionally and continue to express gratitude without expectations. 2. If you feel like your generosity is being taken advantage of and not appreciated then spend that generosity somewhere else. At least that way you are still giving with joy.

In addition to my 30 Days of Yes activity, because that's only 15-30 minutes, I did workout this morning, applied for a job at Boeing and worked on a story I am putting together for HEC TV. I need to give more time and attention though to praying or meditating - that's all part of getting the answers and inspiration to pursue your passion and determine your purpose. The struggle I have, which I have mentioned, and I'm hoping I will conquer in the next 30 days, is feeling like I don't have time to pray or think because I have too much to do. Besides, I really feel guilty when prayer time turns into nap time.

See you all tomorrow when I talk about forgiving. I've got a good one and it's about forgiving someone for a recent action and I know I'm still caught up in what happened. Tomorrow could be another attitude changer for me.

Okay off to nap now, I mean pray. Seriously, I'm not tired. I'm motivated.

30 Days of Yes - Day 1 (The Letter)

Previously on LOST in St. Louis? - I Haven't Had a Full-Time Job in a Year and My New Passion and Purpose is to Stop "Looking" for Jobs:

I briefly described how I got to St. Louis from Hawaii and a little bit about myself and my journey as a father, grandfather, broadcast TV producer, marketing executive, and college basketball coach who is starting to focus on finding my passion as opposed to "looking" aimlessly for a job. I came to this realization after applying for nearly 200 jobs in a year. Then I happened to have a "catch up" meeting with a friend of mine, Travis Thomas, who is a "purpose coach" and has launched "30 Days of Yes." http://www.yes30.com/

It was supposed to be a meeting where, in the end, I would give him some marketing advice but instead I was so intrigued by his program that the meeting evolved into "what he can do for me."

I have always been a very positive person but there's no doubt I have often felt that bigger things were meant for other people and it was my job to help others become bigger. I still love doing that but I believe that if I become bigger I can be a much bigger help in helping others become bigger. It's like putting on your oxygen mask first before your children. I used to think that was so wrong when the flight attendants would instruct you to do that "in case of an emergency." I thought, "why would you not save your young children first?" Well duh, if you don't take care of yourself first then you won't be able to take care of your children at all. It's not a selfish thing, it's an important thing, a practical and smart thing. I'm ready to be great so I can help others be great. We all can be great. The Great Card isn't just handed out to a few. Actually the Great Card isn't handed out to anyone. It's our job to go find the Great Card and that's where I'm heading to - to pick up my Great Card.

The other thing that seems to hold me back is fear of not succeeding. Believe me, I have taken some personal risks, career risks (not many people go from marketing to coaching college basketball and opening up your own business is not for everyone), and life risks (nothing that would kill me though). I know though, when I take those risks, I have take them in trepidation and not with complete confidence.

From here on out I am ready to learn what "Yes" really means for me and how "Yes" is not just a polite response to agree with someone or to agree to do something but a proactive action of confidence, conviction, and most of all - passion.

And according to "30 Days of Yes" yes is:


YES is abundance. There is no room for limited thinking.
YES is empowerment. I will not allow myself to be a victim.
YES is selfless. It is not about what I can “get” – but rather, asking the question, what can I give?”
YES is about having more, as we discover we need less.
YES is always a CHOICE – your choice!


Day 1 of 30 Days of  Yes: 


Here's the introduction from the 30 Days of Yes e-book. I told you Travis has a pretty good sense of humor too.


Who should NOT sign-up for 30 Days of YES?
30 Days of YES is not for everyone.
Specifically, if you have life all figured out – DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If living your best potential is not important to you - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If the words purpose, passion, and happiness do not resonate with you - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If you have a desire to control things - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If staying in your safe comfort zone is where you want to be - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If you are not open to personal transformation - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
If you take “F U” out of “fun - DO NOT do 30 Days of YES.
For everyone else – it’s going to be an awesome ride!

I will get a new activity everyday. We are advised not to look ahead except after we complete the assignment. We are allowed to look at the next activity for preparation purposes. The assignments are not lengthy. I have been told some will push us out of our comfort zone but none will be physically uncomfortable. For example, I asked if I would have to get on an actual roller coaster since I don't like roller coasters. Travis said, no. Thank God because I have never been on one (except for Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean - don't laugh. I know that doesn't count as one.) Believe it or not I have done national PR for Theme Park highlighting the latest thrill rides. Some how I was able to successfully work on the account without getting on one.



Day 1 Activity: Back to the Future…


Write a letter to yourself that you will open and read again in 31 days! In the letter, detail all of the reasons you decided to embark on this 30 Days of YES journey.
o Why did you decide to say YES?
o What obstacles are showing up in your life?
o What goals are you thinking about right now?
o What one or two things in your life would you like to improve upon?
o Are you truly happy?

In my letter I answered the above questions as directed:

• I decided to say "Yes" because I know I need to make some changes about how I mentally approach my life but more specifically because I need to start following my passion and not just simply "follow" the daily job search rigor.
• Obstacles: Not gaining the abundance and full comfort of living. I figure if I can have the same outlook about wealth as I do for my daily health I would be extremely wealthy. I never doubt my health for a second and I am so blessed to not have any ailments. I don't want to ever have any doubt about my finances either.
• Goals: I want to be able to continue to excel in the areas of marketing, broadcast, and coaching so I can help others put on their oxygen mask and realize their dreams. I'm not a big believer in handouts but I am a big believer in assisting and encouraging others with their passion and ideas. I would love to be in a big office someday having meetings where I say "yes" to people's ideas by financing them and advising them. That's where I see myself.
• What can I improve upon?: As I mentioned earlier, I want to improve upon my "can do" attitude for myself. I am always resolution oriented when it comes to my work, bosses and clients, but I need to be resolution oriented when it comes to my aspirations. When I become successful I guarantee I can many more become successful. I need to take risks with success in mind and not possible failure in mind. 
• Am I truly happy? I really am! I love my family and friends. I am so grateful to be healthy and be able hit the gym everyday and even play some full-court basketball. I love all the things I have experienced and still experience from travel, to food, to special events. I am very happy with my social life! I absolutely love live. But I am very stressed out about the finances and that often bogs me down and slows down my progress. After years of living in the most expensive place in the country and often holding down 2-3 jobs to pay the rent/mortgage and send my kids to pre-school (a long time ago) and then finding myself in a job transition time for the past year in a down economy is pretty stressful. I'm not feeling sorry for myself because I know many others are in the same boat and many others are in boats with bigger holes than my boat facing bigger waves than I'm facing but for me, it weighs on me pretty heavily.  After I work through this I will be truly, truly happy.

I told you we are allowed to look at the next day's activity. So hear it is: We get to write a letter of gratitude to someone in our life. We get to write  it old fashioned style. No Facebook post, e-mail, word processor (that would be computer for you young folks) or text - this is a letter that the post office will deliver written on paper with ink or pencil.

I have so much to be grateful for and so many people I am grateful to so I could write thousands of letters but remember these activities are not supposed to be lengthy.  I have already chosen who the letter is going to but won't reveal that yet as the letter still needs to be delivered and today's Sunday so it's not going anywhere today. 

In addition to the letter though and in the spirit of Mother's Day, I am extremely grateful for my mom. She's is a great mom and continues to be to this day. I have learned so much from her. I know I am an awesome father because of what I learned from her and my father.

Happy Mother's Day Mom.

Flashback: LOST in St. Louis?

I Haven't Had a Full-time Job for a Year and My New Passion and Purpose in Life is to Stop "Looking" for Jobs

Yesterday, as I started a blog series about the above, I told you I would reveal to you what passion and purpose I have decided to follow. Well, I have been recently watching LOST on Netflix (when I'm not looking for jobs) and it got me thinking what is so gripping about that show. If you knew how the show was going to end you probably wouldn't be so glued to it. So, I decided rather than tell you how I hope my story ends I would take you on the daily journey and we will find out together how it ends. I will give you a hint though. My passion and purpose will not take me to a Third World Nation to join the Peace Corp or to a travelling circus, at least not now. Most of you know that I have been a TV producer and marketing/PR professional for most of my working life, picking up three Emmy Awards on the way, being a managing partner of my own firm and even coaching college basketball. With that in mind, I can hint to you that my purpose and passion is something creative and something involving working with and helping people realize their purpose and passion. I promise. there will be some flash forwards outlining my passion but let's start with a flashback. 

When we lived in Hawaii we started watching LOST as a family to support a network TV show being shot in our backyard. We found it to be pretty compelling. I happen to think it is the best written and produced show ever on TV. I did not realize how great the show was though until just a couple of weeks ago. When we moved to St. Louis and I started my new job, a whole new career of coaching college basketball, I stopped watching LOST. That was about the middle of Season 2. With a show like that you can't just jump right back in or you will be lost for real.  A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend started watching LOST on Netflix with her son and invited me to join them on this nightly adventure. I was excited to see the recognizable scenery of Hawaii again and to once again catch the beginning of Season 1 Episode 22 (Kate's Flashback). If you don't blink you will get a glimpse of this blogger (me), two of his children and his minivan. Although I'm not an actor I did have to act because those suitcases I'm carrying in the scene were empty and I had to walk and have a look on my face like they were heavy or the director promised to fill the baggage with bowling balls. 

I had forgotten how great this show was. I am hooked again. It's easier to follow too when watching night after night as opposed to waiting for a week and each year a hiatus waiting for the next season.

MY FLASHBACK

As I mentioned in my blog yesterday, earlier this week I decided to take a new approach on searching for full-time employment after almost a year of filling out nearly 200 job applications with no results. I do not regret one moment of this process. I just think that I haven't gone about it in the best way so that's why my new purpose and passion is to stop"looking" for jobs. I still want and need a job but I have to stop looking for them and start looking for my passion and what I have decided my purpose is. I do not regret or feel the past year has been a waste because I have also gained so much: What I have gained is: new friends and business contacts who have been helpful and encouraging, taking time out of their busy schedules to guide me. I have gained a sharper looking resume  and have gotten pretty good at writing cover letters and investigating companies and finding people I know somehow connected with these companies. I have gained a whole new respect for valuing challenging and rewarding employment. I have gained family time. Although, I kept myself busy searching and applying I didn't have a boss' schedule to keep so I was able to attend many of my children's activities and spend 24/7 with them during winter, spring and summer breaks. I have gained gratitude for what I already have and stopped focusing on what I don't have. That can be hard when you are concerned on a daily basis about where the next paycheck will come from to pay the bills that were due last month. I have gained focus and confidence in what I am best at and what I enjoy doing most.

Okay, here's really where the flashback begins. I was born in Marin County, just north of San Francisco. Marin is one of the wealthiest counties in the nation so it's easy to grow up thinking life will be plentiful without having to work for it. For me it has nothing to do with being spoiled. It has more to do that life was comfortable and I was a kid so I didn't think about working.  I'm not going to get too much into my childhood but I can tell you it was great. My parents are great parents. I grew up with a fun older brother and three fun younger sisters. Two of them came into our lives when I was already just about in college so that sort of gave me the experience of knowing what it would be like to be a father. I grew up in an awesome neighborhood where you never worried about bullies or crime. I pretty much played basketball every day after school and on the weekends on a schoolyard court with my friends. My grandparents on my mom's side lived in the city so we saw them often. In addition to my own father, my grandfather was a mentor. He was sort of famous in San Francisco because he was general manager of the ABC station in the Bay Area in the 60's and part of the 70's and back then when you were GM of a TV station that was a huge deal because TV was still pretty new.  I won't even begin to list who he knew but I do remember Willie Mays once coming to our house.

I preferred reading the newspaper over reading books so that's probably where my interest for journalism began. And, my grandfather had a cool life working in television. Everywhere he went people said hi to him. I thought that would be a fun way to live.

When I got out of college I moved to Boston to work for World Monitor Television. I learned from a lot of people with network news experience. But Hawaii was always calling me. We vacationed there often during my junior high and high school years. I even lived there during my kindergarten year. Shortly after getting married I went over on a vacation. While there I interviewed for a job to produce a local newscast. Two weeks later I got the "yes" call and they moved us out there.

Hawaii is not an easy place to live because of the high cost of living but every weekend we got to go to Hawaii without getting on a plane. We lived there for 17 years. We became friends with a lot of great people and all four of our kids were born there. I got very involved in their school as a PTA president so I was able to spend a lot of time with them and help out their school.  I worked for two TV stations and about three marketing companies and eventually became a managing partner of my own firm before leaving the Islands almost four years ago. That's when I got the "call" or found a great opportunity to be the men's head basketball coach at my alma mater, Principia College, on the bluffs of Elsah, Il overlooking the Mississippi River. It was  certainly going to be a change and it certainly turned out to be a turning point in my life.

The coaching was fun. I loved it. I had a lot to learn but I had a lot to give too. I'm not really an x's and o's guy (although I did install an excellent offense) so I focused more on motivating these young student athletes to grow into responsible and respectful young men. After all, this was Division III basketball and I felt it was more important for them to have tools for life rather than tools for basketball.  I helped guide the program to its best finish in six seasons in what turned out to be my third and final season. Much to my surprise, even to this day, my contract was not renewed but I was able to leave that program in better shape than I found it. What was even more to my surprise was how hard it was going to be to find another job. I had been unemployed once but it lasted only a month and the unemployment notice in that situation was a mutual decision. Plus, I was in Hawaii where I knew hundreds of employers and had a stellar reputation. Now, I'm LOST in St. Louis where all I know are college professors and students at my own institution and colleagues in the coaching world. And one more thing, unemployment was at the highest level ever since I have been a working person. In the past, when I applied for work I had these elements in my favor, economy was good, I always knew the person who was doing the hiring, I always got face-to-face interviews and the only time I was asked for my resume was after I got the job just so they could keep it in their HR files.

During my three plus years in St. Louis some other things changed too. I got a divorce and I became grandfather. I have a very supportive girlfriend  and my kids are awesome. I just adore them. They range in age from 20 to 6, two boys, two girls. I would write more about them but in the spirit of maintaining their privacy I will stop here.

Finally, (I hate using that word as an announcement for a conclusion but I love hearing it or seeing it when I'm on the receiving end of a long speech or long article), let's talk briefly about what I'm going to change about my job "search" and the journey I hope you will enjoy reading about.

As I told you in yesterday's blog (the first of this series so if you just started reading today you don't have much to catch up on and you won't have to wait for my story to come out on Netflix), for the past week I have been thinking more about my passion than my job search mostly out of frustration. For years I have been told, "follow your passion." "You can do whatever you want." And for years I have believed it but I guess for years I have felt I didn't have the time or the guts to determine my passion and purpose and follow my passion and purpose. Well 200 job applications later in less than a year I finally decided to take the plunge, figure out what I'm truly most passionate about and go for it. And what I'm passionate about is really not too far of a stretch from the path I have already followed.

Yesterday, I went and met with a good friend of mine who is funny, creative, and has been what we call a "purpose" coach on the side. I actually went to meet with him to talk story, catch up and help him since he just announced leaving his job. I remember he had started this program called 30 Days of Yes. I knew a little bit about it but not much so I asked him to tell me about it. I was really there to give him some marketing advice and job hunting advice - hoping that I could help him do in a week what has taken me a year by giving him some shortcut advice.  After hearing about 30 Days of Yes I said I want to do this. I said I have read books, Tony Robbins, Depak Chopra, etc. listened to advice but I have never had a coach lead me through something like this on a daily basis.  In the end, the only advice I gave him was he didn't need my help in finding a job because he had already figured out his passion and purpose.

Tomorrow, I will tell you the story of Day 1 of 30 Days of Yes!

   

I Haven't Had a Full-time Job for a Year and My New Passion and Purpose in Life is to Stop "Looking" for Jobs

I have been officially unemployed for nearly a year, other than few marketing and video projects here and there. I have officially applied for nearly 200 jobs. You read that correctly - 200 jobs.

So, as you can see, while unemployed, I have been working pretty hard. In fact, I find it more stressful not having a job than having one and I've worked in some pretty stressful businesses - live television production, marketing, and college basketball coaching.

But today, I realized I have been approaching this job hunt thing all wrong. Believe me, I have been working very hard at doing it wrong, taking thorough steps to revise and revise my resumes (I have three - one for coaching, one for marketing, one for broadcasting) and customizing my cover letters for each job description and researching the hell out of each company. I have spent hours reaching out to everyone I know from college to previous jobs to LinkedIn and Facebook looking for anyone connected to every job I applied for. Keeping myself busy by applying for sometimes as many as five jobs in a day has certainly made me feel productive and guilt-free. At the end of each day I could say, "I made progress today." But did I? I certainly have learned through this process but not sure if I really made progress if my goal is to have a full-time job.

Well, today it finally hit me, a day after I found out as summer nears here in the very hot Midwest, that it will cost nearly $1,000 to fix the AC in my car and now I will have to go to job interviews drenched in sweat. I started to sort of feel sorry for myself. Wow, no job, no AC? But then I chuckled at the fact that at least "my" parts are working. And that made me think how grateful I am to be healthy, educated, passionate about my family, relationships and friends and still energized and enthusiastic about finding gainful employment.

What finally hit me today? What I have come to now realize and hope to help many others in my situation, whether you are unemployed, unhappy, or unsatisfied, is that it's not about your JOB, it's about your PURPOSE, your PASSION. No this isn't something new. I didn't just invent this. In fact, I have heard this message throughout my entire life and I have even believed in it myself but I was never patient enough, until now, to follow my passion and set my purpose. I was so caught up in not having enough time to focus on my passion because I have too much work to do. I used to think that you saved passion for retirement. Well, that would be a waste of life on Earth.

I know what I want to do and I know what I am passionate about and I know I can make a living by following my passion and finding my purpose. You purpose can be whatever you want it to be as long as you are passionate about it.

Over the next 30 days I'm going to stop worrying about constantly looking for jobs to apply for (believe me I've done enough of that and I know I don't need more practice at that) and I'm going to challenge myself to start acting on my passion and purpose.

Over the next 30 days and beyond, I'm going to start saying "YES" to my purpose and passion. "YES" means if this is what I want to do, then "YES" I can do it.

In my next blog I will sort of outline my passion and my chosen purpose and then take you along on my journey to employment, happiness and satisfaction. Notice I got rid of the "uns" and "nos" and I'm saying hello to "YES."